My weird dream – meaningful or not? 31, July, 2008

This week I have had 2 weird dreams. One was as if I was in some kind of movie like Lord of the Rings or something hehe and the other one that I had last night was a little more unnerving and I am not sure if it was just my mind been the most creative it has ever been or if it means anything. I will tell you last nights dream and if anyone out there can answer it well then by all means reply post me away! Details welcome!

 

My dream last night was one of those dreams where it was extremely detailed and it felt like I was living it. One of those dreams that you suddenly wake up from by just opening your eyes and catching your breath..

 

Where this dream took place I don’t know, can’t tell you 100% whether I was in Australia or overseas or where I don’t know. I was with someone but don’t know if they were male or female and we were together walking along towards some sort of hotel or like a restaurant type thing on our way to lunch. It felt like maybe we were on holiday. Well we walked into this restaurant place… it dark red brick with cement floors.. some potted plants around the place..i felt like we were expected to be seated but instead we walked in on a wake.. the casket was brown wood but that light coloured wood..it was dark with candles all around the place and a few people seated at the tables.. on top of the casket were flowers laid and 3 photo frames with a photo in it. The middle photo was larger than the other two that were the same size… when I examined the photos and looked carefully I knew (in the dream) that it was my friend Marla… Marla and I have known each other since we were 6 years old. The first photo on the left was of when she was in her early teens, the photo on the other side on the right was of her in her late teens and the larger photo in the middle was of her as if she was older.. like 30’s because it didn’t quite look like her but I knew it was still her. I stood there and I was shocked that I had walked in on Marla’s funeral and felt so overwhelmed that I started to cry saying ‘cant believe this is happened not Marla.. ’.. the dream then took me to a room in the same building… where my mother had a room, I had a room.. and the feeling of the building was that of like a hotel or a ship like I had this feeling I was on a ship but it looked like a building.. anyway… all the people in this building/ship area where we all had rooms.. we were there because we had just attended Marla’s funeral… I was in my mother’s room and sitting with her on the bed talking, I left her watching tv and went back to my room.. once in my room I got into bed..and suddenly Marla’s ghost entered my room and I was scared.. she looked tall and long and very white.. I was feeling scared but not as scared if you know what I mean.. I was kinda of cautiously scared.. and Marla’s ghost spoke to me and said ‘I came because I am really glad you came to my funeral, I didn’t wanna leave without saying goodbye’ Marla’s ghost stayed for a while… and I was still shocked without saying anything… and then Marla’s ghost said ‘well I should go spend some time with the others im sad that this has happened but im glad you came and I wanted to spend some time with you’ she then turned and walked out of the room and left… in the dream I did feel better after seeing her and well from there the dream ended quite quickly.

 

Now before you start jumping into dream dictionaries I have already looked them up and know that most say that dreaming of death is change…however they are all implying if you dream of your OWN death. A few facts to let you in on…

Marla is NOT dead (as far as I know…I haven’t heard from her in a while… sent her an sms today and tried to call her… no answer and her phone went to voice mail).. I haven’t seen Marla for a few months but we are in electronic contact.

Does anyone have any clues as to what this dream could mean? Why am I dreaming of a friend that I haven’t seen for months and hadn’t really been thinking about and of all things I dream of her death, funeral and ghost?

 

Maybe im over thinking it, but I am not a person that normally has dreams that are this clear or have some sort of well plotted story line..

 

 

 

 

Dating in your mid 20’s – Letting Fate Decide 30, July, 2008

For a long time I have on the odd occasion, on the occasions when I am truly stuck about making a decision, tossed a coin or drawn a “yes” or “no” vote out of a hat (ok it’s a box but u get what I mean). I know it may sound dumb but I have!

 

For example if I am at work and im trying to choose between having Japanese food or lunch or Thai food I will toss a coin or draw it out of a hat. Another way of playing the fate game is using skittles. The green skittle means Yes, the red skittle means No, the yellow skittle means maybe and if I get yellow normally I eat it and redraw again.

 

Is there really fate? Is there destiny? Is there serendipity? Do things really happen for a reason? Well I think I prescribe to the notion that (to a degree) yes things happen for a reason and we need to look on the bright side or look at the opportunities that arise from said turn of events.

 

I will give you a small example of what I mean. A few years ago I had a boyfriend that I was completely, blindly and desperately in love with. I felt he was the beez neez how could I have been so lucky to have found ‘the one’ so quickly and without having to go through any heartbreak. He would even play me songs that were titled ‘the one’ things like that as he would tell me he felt the same. What a stroke of luck, I thought. Turned out he was the one person who hurt me the most; he cheated on me. Well anyway in the grand tradition of broken hearts I was devastated could not move from how paralysing that pain was, I got quite sick because I ignored my health, worked too hard, studied too long, slept too much and was absolutely smashed into a billion little pieces with no idea how to put myself back together again. When I finally came through that Forrest of thick fog I had gotten rid of everything that he had ever given me, changed my life, I had changed as a person – gotten rid of everything except one thing… a book. Yes a book. He had given me this particular book as a present on an occasion and I had kept it because it was a collection of all Jane Austen’s classic works. I know some of you may think that’s lame but Jane Austen’s stuff I absolutely love.

 

Like a lot of women out there I could identify with one of the characters… the character I most identified with was that of Marianne Dashwood (Sense and Sensibility). I felt like Marianne’s experience with John Willoughby was almost mirror image to what had happened to me – it was freaky actually – to the detail of meeting a man I had pushed away for so long and finally giving him a chance and ending up loving him (but that didn’t turn out we broke up over a year ago haha) but that’s not the point! The point is that after I had come through of all that I realised that it was time for me to let go of this book that I loved so much.

 

I kept discussing the issue of getting rid of it, but I just couldn’t throw it in the bin it’s a book and I appreciated it too much. The suggestions that were thrown around by friends were that if I didn’t wanna throw it in the bin I should burn it. Burn it!?? Burn it!?? Couldn’t do it! And a friend of (Carla) kept saying well maybe you should just buy yourself a new copy of this book and give the old one away or give it to someone. I knew this was the option but I kept making excuses every time particularly ‘oh yeah that book has the collection but it’s not the same book it’s a different print’ or ‘it doesn’t have the same picture on the cover’. One day one of my best friends (Carla) and I were in Borders the book shop. We often go into this book shop because its so large and it has the best collection of books on everything, it has a café inside and we sit and talk in there and I always say that whenever ive been in that store I feel like ive actually absorbed intelligence like Osmosis (even though I don’t necessarily buy a book). Anyway, we were in Borders and my Carla commanded, “that’s it Susi Spice you are buying this Jane Austen book if its the last thing we do today you are buying it and getting rid of the other one end of story you are not walking out of here without the Jane Austen book collection and I don’t care if it’s the same type or not! no more excuses!” we had spent a good 20 mins looking for this book on the shelves and had picked out two different covers.. but I couldn’t decide on which one. Finally in defiance of her orders I stated “eh screw it ill just throw the stupid book away I am not buying another one fate is telling me something, its telling me that I wont have a happy ending and im just going to give up on love all together we have looked everywhere for this book and have been looking on these shelves for this book for like 20mins and its not here fate says its not gonna happen”…. Carla gave a big frustrated huge sigh as I started to walk out of that section in resignation.. then just as I had begun to walk away.. Carla gave a loud shreek and exclaimed “oh my god!!! here it is!!! Its here! Its here!” I turned around in disbelief my friend said “it was right here we just walked past it! it’s the only one on the shelf! Cant believe we missed it the first time!” it was kinda weird for both us.. and I said to her “maybe now fate is telling me something… something good”. So I bought the book I was so happy about it.

 

I got home it was around 3 in the afternoon on a Sunday and thought id relax before going out that night. Turned on the TV and a movie had just started, I hadn’t seen it before and so kept watching it – turned out to be called Serendipity.. I looked around and thought…how bizarre how bizarre. I got inspiration from this movie from the scene where the girl writes her name and number in a book and she tells the guy that if he finds it they are meant to be etc? So I thought… well I am a hopeless romantic … so I decided that I would be donating the book to one of those used book stores, I drove 40 mins away from my house to find the most out of the way book store I could find to donate my book. Inside the book cover I wrote a small inscription.. ok it wasn’t small it was about half a page long.. but I wrote that I was sending this book out into the world and hoped that it would bring love and hope to someone who had been as heart broken as me and let them know that life will be ok. So its out there somewhere and I wonder where it will end up.

 

Right now im about to toss a coin to decide whether I should put this theory to the test… In the next 3 months whenever I have to make a decision that I cannot make up my mind about I will toss a coin and see what the outcome is..then at the end of it I will let you know… Heads = yes to do the experiment Tales = No don’t do the experiment…. Ok it is 30 July 2008 at 2.15pm and im tossing the coin… (hang on I gotta find a coin)  ok got it.. it is the 30 July 2008 at 2.16pm… the coin says………………………………… HEADS!!!

 

So I will report back 30 October!

Dating in your mid 20’s – Glass Walls and Guy friends or Boyfriends? 29, July, 2008

Ever had anyone tell you ‘you are a beautiful and a great person and anyone would be lucky to have you’ and you stand back thinking uuuhhuuuuuu so why am I still single?

 

I cannot tell you how many times ive heard this, if I had one dollar for every time ive heard that, id have a few dollars. And I had a dollar for every time Ive said this to someone id have enough money to have paid off house! Hehe.

 

Now when I say I do mean it so many of my single girl friends are amazing people and so many of my single guy friends are wonderful. But there seems to be this glass wall that stops these great girls and great guys getting together. Now you might be thinking “susi spice why don’t you just go out with one of these guy friends who you say are so great and why don’t u set up your great girl friends with your great guy friends”… well its not that I haven’t tried, but its that glass wall that im talking about. Sometimes its just simply that you see them as your friend but there isn’t any romantic attraction or connection there and you cant force things to happen…

 

Stupid glass wall.

 

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent)Take my friend Brent he is a wonderful guy, he and I would go out every single week together to watch a movie and hang out we got along so well, open with each other, knew each other really well, went out shopping together, we worked together and would have lunch together almost every single day, put up with my rants and stupid moments, all in all Brent had everything I would want in a guy and vice versa (we knew this because we talked about it all the time)… except that we never got together –once we were both available – because we just never saw each other in that way it was almost like a brotherly/sisterly love type thing…

 

My friend Alex is my biggest fan I think hehe, he is a great guy… he is always making me feel really great about myself, ‘susi spice you are a beautiful person a beautiful girl and I would marry you in a heart beat’. He has been there for me through the worst of breakups with ex boyfriends, parents divorce, the good times all that similar to Brent … Alex has previously admitted he has feelings for me, but as much as ive tried… my heart says he isn’t the one, he isn’t even Mr Right Now… he is Alex I see him as my older brother, he is protective like an older brother which I love. I do dearly care for him and its been like 10 years and we are still best buddies but that’s all it is on my side…best buddies…

 

I wouldn’t want to just go out with a guy for the sake of it, or lead someone on to make them think that I feel more than I really do. The last thing I would want to do is to force myself to be with someone like my friend Alex where the friendship is way to valuable now to risk “having a go” at a relationship when my heart is not in it in the romantic way.

 

Sooooooooooooooooooooo people still think its easy as that, just find someone its not hard. Its not hard to find someone to go on a date or to sleep with..just throw back a few beers and make sure they’ve had enough and trust me slam bam thankyou mam you can get laid and have a pash. But its hard to find someone that you honestly are attracted to whom you are truly willing to give them enough respect to be genuine about wanting to date them to really see if a relationship will truly come of it.

 

Or am I just a strange person who is totally clueless about all this at the end of the day?

I am wrong in not going out with guys just because they ask me? Do I do wrong to want to keep my friendships alive and strong rather than crossing that line knowing that I feel nothing romantic for them? Would that be forgivable? Am I wrong to want to find a guy whom I can have a beautiful friendship with as well as strong loving relationship? Does this make me too fussy? Because I don’t want to just settle for anyone who shows the slightest interest in me?

 

I have a married friend his name is Kris he has been married for 11 years. He and his wife have 3 beautiful kids. I have known Kris for about 4 or 5 years now. One day I asked him a question “How did you know that your wife was the one?” and he replied “She isn’t, one thing I know is that she isn’t, she never was but we were best friends for years and one day we started to see each other we were together for 3 years and thought well why not we have friendship” but he has confessed that he isn’t happy, that he does wonder if the right woman was out there for him and he doesn’t feel that this marriage will last forever.

 

I don’t wanna end up like that! I know theres no guarantee but come on people you would have to agree that at the very least you wouldn’t want to be with someone who thinks ‘yeh…close enough thatll do’. Right?

Dating in your mid 20’s – The Questions Answered II 29, July, 2008

Q: Should I try internet/online dating sites?

 

NRA: There are so many people that are members of such sites as RSVP and Lavalife, some have success and some don’t.

 

I think you guys may remember my story regarding my experience with the online dating thing. Well ill remind you again for those who don’t remember it. After my ex boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago my girl friends decided to help me out by secretly signing me up to BOTH online websites, RSVP and Lavalife… they had been corresponding with the guys on there as if it were me, they would send through photos to my email address asking my opinion of these guys – unbeknownst to me – they were pretending that it was for themselves. They would ask ‘so what do you think of this guy?’ and I would reply thinking that it was legitimately for them and say things like ‘he seems nice if you like him you should give it a go’ which in reality I was thinking ‘so totally not my type, but hey who am I to judge your taste’.. went out on a particular date that was horrific (ok I confess there was another one that I thought something good was coming of it..until we met… that story is for another time) – however, one part of the story you did not know was that I did meet one guy who was very nice, we went out for about 4 weeks.. He was a nice guy, he was quite good looking, however I did realise that there were a lot of things that didn’t quite concur with me. But that is normal it was a nice experience.

 

I have known a lot of people who have done the online dating thing, I knew one girl in her early 30’s could almost be described as a serial dater. She was on every dating website possible, would go speed dating and all other type of dating fads that came her way. She was never short of dates for the week or the weekend and so from her experience I can tell you that if you want to try it, you might as well have a go and see for yourself what all the fuss is about. Be prepared that you will come across some freaky weird people, you will come across liars, people who put up one photo saying its them then you meet them and it was a photo of them like 15 years ago when they had hair, and didn’t have a beer gut, didn’t have cankles, didn’t waddle as they walked, who looked like a real life Homer Simpson but NOT CUTE, NOT FUNNY and NOT ENTERTAINING!… ok ok … yes bad memories…

 

At the end of the day have a go, if nothing else, like me and many more people out there you will have interesting and funny stories to tell.

 

RA: See above, but maybe try some Christian dating websites? I personally don’t know of any good ones to send you to but I know they exist in the USA and Canada. Not sure if any good ones are in Australia.

 

Q: Should I sleep with a guy after 3 dates?

 

NRA: No hard and fast rule on this one. In my opinion no you shouldn’t because its like going out to dinner to a really nice restaurant and going straight for the dessert and missing out on the yummy entree and delectable main meal… Where is the fun and the excitement build up? Will you regret it the next day? What about STD’s? and STI’s? how do you know this person doesn’t haven’t any? How will you handle it if the guy never calls you again? If you can handle the one night thing or are happy to risk the guy losing interest quicker than he would if you had just kept him waiting a little longer then go for it. But if you really would like the guy to get to know the person you are, get to know what you like, what you think and you want to get to know them ..then wait. Wait longer than 3 dates.

 

RA: Well you’re not supposed to its fornication. So stay good and don’t do it! you may regret it later.

 

Q: What kinds of questions should I ask on a first date?

 

NRA: The question isn’t what questions should I ask? It’s what information do I need to find out and how to I extract it without it seeming like I am interrogating the person?

 

Firstly the things you would probably want to know about a person whom you have just met are:

 

a)      are you married?

b)      Do you have kids?

c)      Are u separated/divorced?

d)      Are you looking for just a good time or do you want more?

e)      Are you a cheapskate?

f)       Are you irresponsibly generous?

g)      Still living with a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband but are on the rocks and are you testing the waters to see what else is out there before you jump boat?

h)      Are you a serial killer?

i)        Are you a sexual predator?

j)        Addicted to sex? (may not necessarily be a bad thing.. he he)

k)     Are you a closet drug addict?

l)        Gambling addict?

m)    Do you have serious mother issues?

n)      Are you a stalker?

 

Well you get the picture and you would have your own questions that you want answers to.

 

The key to extracting information from a person is to make them feel very comfortable with you. You need to be genuine and ingenious as to how to ask a question… but remember you will NOT find all this information out on the first date, it will take time.

 

RA: Pray that you will not run into a Satanist stalker! But see above for more info

Dating in your Mid 20’s – The Kavorka 28, July, 2008

I have a good friend who is single and seems to have this magnet to her that only ever attracts married men. She is a very successful, independent, smart and gorgeous woman in her mid 30s. She is quite sick of this but this is a predictable situation where the Bored/unhappy/unsatified/bad husband is going after some fresh fun, trying out something new.

 

But it got me thinking about other men I have met and been friends with who are married. They have said to me that the other side of their life is that they get a lot of single women who are keen to on the excitement, the exhilaration and the benefits of been ‘the mistress’. Don’t they feel like the stud stallions of all time he-he.. one guy friend said ‘I cant help it, they just come to me I don’t go looking for them’. Why do some married men have this Kavorka.. is it the excitement of the chase? is it that its trying to get the impossible? Realising a fantasy?

 

This reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer attracts the nun and is told he has “the Kavorka”.. the lure of the animal…..

 

I think think my girl friend and some of my friends have this… the Kavorka… Kramer got rid of it by bathing in garlic, vinegar and a whole bunch of other condiments – works because it would stink.

 

Speaking of nuns and married men.. I got one of the funniest jokes sent to me today and thought id share it with you to give you a bit of a laugh.

 

A cabbie picks up a Nun.
 
 She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab
 Driver won’t stop staring at her.
 
 She asks him why he is staring.
 
 He replies:   ‘I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to
 Offend you.’
 
 She answers,  ’My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as
 I am And have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and
 Hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you
 Could say or ask that I would find offensive.’
 
 ’Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have sex with a nun.’
 
 She responds,
 
 ’Well, let’s see what we can do about that:
 
 #1, You have to be single
 
 #2, You must be Catholic.
 
 # 3, I have to save my virginity, you will have to enter me from
         Behind.
 
 The cab driver is very excited and says,
 
 ’Yes, I’m single, Catholic, and I’m happy to enter from behind!’
 
 ’OK’  the nun says. ‘Pull into the next alley.’
 
 The nun fulfils his fantasy, in a way that would make a hooker
 Blush.
 
 But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
 
 ’My dear child,’ says the nun, ‘why are you crying?’
 
 ’Forgive me but I’ve sinned.  I lied and I must confess, I’m
 Married and I’m Jewish.’
 
 The nun says, ‘That’s OK.   My name is Kevin and I’m going to
 Fancy dress party.’

Dating in your mid 20’s – The questions answered. 28, July, 2008

So many people ‘google-it’, well that’s what I’m calling it, google-it is when people type a question into google hoping that a miracle answer is given to them Eg:

‘Should I date married men’

‘how do I date good men’

well Ive decided that im going to be little miss know-it-all and play Guru to some of the more common questions that are posed to the all-knowing-cyber-space-gods of Google. I have created answers in two forms; 1) non-religious persons answer and 2) religious persons answer. This way you will get different points of views and you can choose which one you think speaks to your heart the most. I do this because I am a very open minded person and will give you options rather than instructions (I promise no bible bashing  soap boxing!

 

Q = Question

NRA = Non Religious Answer

RA: Religious persons Answer

 

Q: Should I date a married man?

 

NRA: No. You should not date a man or a woman who is already married. Some may say “but he said he isn’t happy” “its not me that is cheating on his wife he is the one choosing to cheat on his wife so im all good” well if you are the type of person that does not believe in Karma, the type of person who has disdain for the feelings of others and are only in it for the sex and you are sure that you can live with that kind of things on your conscience and yourself for the rest of your life.. then your choice. However if you are someone who thinks they are a decent person a good person who does realise that no matter what sometime, somewhere, somehow you get given what you deserve and life has a funny way of balancing things out then dont. Another thing is that 90% of the time the man will not leave his wife and even if he does, chances are that you will become part of that history and once he is rid of his marriage he will get rid of the rest of the baggage that went along with that story ie YOU and he will move on to someone else, and do you really want a man who cheated on his wife to be with you? You think he wont do that to you at some point? Once a cheater – more than likely always a cheater and the one that will end up looking like a fool will be you.

 

RA: No. Remember the commandments and God’s laws against adultery/fornication/coveting your neighbour. It will not count well towards your chances of getting into heaven. Marriage is sacred and it should be respected and see the answer above for extra details.

 

Q: Should I stop dating to find the right guy?

 

NRA: Not necessarily. I have met people who made a conscious effort to not ‘date’ in the normal sense but would have friends that they hung out with and got to know and it worked out well for them. Dating is a good thing you get to know the person you are attracted to, you get to see them in a romantic sense, you spend time with each other and learn how to love them/pleasure them and share your love with the person. The risk of getting your heart broken is always there, its just that if you date in the normal sense you have a lot vested into the relationship because you are sharing intense sexual feelings and with that can come very intense emotional feelings so you must be prepared emotionally and psychologically for what can occur with dating. Don’t necessarily be afraid of dating, dating is fun, you can meet wonderful people and not so wonderful people but you will learn so much about yourself, about what you want in a partner, be able to decipher between the ideals you thought you wanted in a partner but then you have it and you realise you don’t want that after all or it wasn’t what you thought it would be. You will get exposure to different personalities and learn to deal with varying situations and learn about how strong you really are and how you can overcome heart break and know that life will go on no matter what. Two things that a lot people fail to realise that I would like to bring your attention to 1) that the world does not, will not and never will stop just because you got a broken heart… it’s a sad reality but its true. You must learn to gather up your strength in the face of adversity and do what you gotta do and survive and come up trumps despite it all. 2) 99.98% of the time you are not the first one to have experienced it – whatever it is, the good things or the bad things. So learn to be humble not make people sick with your lovey dovey stories and exhilarating love highs – it can be funny but it can just be annoying also and also don’t get angry at the world and at those around you who don’t give you as much sympathy or give you the type of understanding you crave for when you are heartbroken saying things like “you just don’t understand its not like its your heart that is broken” because more than likely they are more experienced than you in that sort of thing and have learned to deal with it in a better way and are only trying to help you but getting you to keep living your life and not crying your eyes out under the sheets forever. Life will get better and the pain will go away.

 

RA: No where in the bible does it say ‘thou shall not date’ but if you choose not to date, just be aware that things can go wrong, but have faith that God will be there for you and will get you through it. God does provide the right one for those who have faith and are willing to be patient and allow God to work in your life. But if for some reason you find that the person you thought was right turns out to be very wrong, God didn’t make a mistake, He just knew that you needed to learn a lesson in life that will make you a wiser person and a better husband/wife/partner when the right one finally does come your way.

 

Q: How do I find good men/women to date?

 

NRA: When you find the secret enlightened correct answer to this one, let me know!

But in my humble opinion I would start with:

1)     you lie with dogs you will catch fleas

2)     look at the places you are hanging out in, for example if you are looking for a well educated respectable man, it is highly unlikely you will find him in seedy night clubs and seedy low class bars or if you are wanting a well educated respectable decent woman it is highly unlikely that you will find her in a strip club

 

RA: Ask God, pray over what you want, ask with faith, have faith that he will answer you and he will provide – that is his promise. Just be careful what you ask for…

 

Q: Will I ever find a person to marry?

 

NRA: Maybe.

RA: Maybe.

 

Well these are just a few to begin with, I may add more later on as I find them. J

Dating in your mid 20’s – The type of men I like. 27, July, 2008

In my tiredness from last night’s big night I was watching some Sunday night shows on TV one of them was Thank God You’re Here.. it’s a show here in Australia where they get actors to appear and they put them into scenes where they have to improvise their lines only. Its actually quite funny I like it. Anyway one of my favourite actors that appears on this show frequently is Josh Lawson. He is great at the improvisation on all the weird scenes he is placed into makes me laugh a lot. This got me thinking as to the type of guys that I generally get very attracted to.

 

I find this actor Josh Lawson very attractive because he is so funny – he isn’t extremely hot but the fact he is so funny on this show makes me look at him differently.

Will Smith is another one that I find extremely attractive because of how funny he can be in movies and during interviews.

Johnny Depp is a very deep actor and when he is funny makes him even more attractive (but he is so super droll worthy no matter what anyway).

 

So I consider that guys who have that wit, that ability to make others laugh with actual funny stuff (not crude or rude or stupid humour) are actually really attractive to me. This is why I love so many comedians that perform at things like the Montreal Comedy Festival, Edinburgh Comedy Festival or the Melbourne Comedy festival. Get a guy to make me laugh and you have caught my interest to begin with… that would be any guys starting off point.

 

I love it when guys can appreciate arts. By that I mean anything from loving music or play an instrument, who can sing…but not necessarily well… I cannot tell you how attractive I find it when I am with a guy in a car, for example, and (without the need for/aide of alcohol) can just be stupid with me and sing with me or sing along with me to a song we both like.. I think that makes someone very special to me, when he and I can comfortable enough to just be our stupid selves in each others company and love it.

 

I find a man who is open-minded, humble and empathetic to the realities of the world and does what he can to make this world a better place…oh so yummy and attractive.

 

These are things that I find attractive its not part of a check list or anything that I have, its just attributes that ive come across men that ive found really attractive. These are things that the men I have met and whom ive found to be so attractive to me.

 

Im going to write the lamest thing you may have heard in a long time, but you know, ive been feeling really excited about whats to come… I look forward to one day meeting the man that is the right one for me soon… I don’t know where he is, I don’t know who he is, but I hope he is looking forward to finding me as I am to finding him.

 

I can hear a lot of people out there now ‘poor girl she is delusional’ ‘you’re living in a dream world susi spice’ ‘ you know that even if you do find a guy you think is right for you it probably wont work out and youll be divorced just like 50% of people who get married’…

 

I know all this stuff, but you know what? I am choosing to remain positive and have faith that the man I marry will be just as committed to it as I am and who has belief that real love still exists, that real love can last and that with hard work, love and faith a marriage can go the distance…

 

In my dreams I imagine been really happy sitting on the couch at 80 years old with my life long husband beside me and finding the love in our hearts every now and then to still hold each other lovingly and kiss each other.

Well seems the hopeless romantic in me is awake tonight…

Love Sundays..no i hate Sundays.. no love..hate..ah forget it! 27, July, 2008

My job can sometimes be quite stressful, as a lot of people’s out there. I love Fridays because I know that the next day I don’t have to get up so early and I don’t have to go into work and I don’t have to meet deadlines and no work emails to take care of – I love personal emails haha. But Sundays… man Sundays I love and hate them. I love waking up Sunday morning knowing that its another day without having to step into my office… but by about 7pm on a Sunday I start to hate it… I hate it because its only a few hours sleep until I have to wake up early and have to get on to that little wheel and start running for another 5 days before I get to love Sunday again.

 

I have so many more things that I could be doing on a Monday morning like getting my hair done at the hair dressers, going shopping for a new lounge suite, studying my French classes that I didn’t do at all this weekend.. big weekend.. having a long hot soak in the tub… booking an overseas holiday… well I can dream right?

 

Sundays oh Sundays… why art thou so evil…

Dating in your mid 20’s and Makers Out Remorse 27, July, 2008

Well last night I had one of my biggest nights out in a long long long time. One of my best friends and I went out to have a bit of fun. We went to the Brisbane (it’s a bar) then we moved on to our old haunt, Rosie O’Grady’s (you may remember this irish pub from previous stories such as Dating in your mid 20s – Blind as a Bat and lessons learned)  well there we met up with a couple of guy friends (French boys), kept partying and then moved on to the Library – no not an actual library its another dance club. Now please keep in mind that we had been drinking all night, we were not drunk at all but we were happy and I am totally in shock and disbelief impressed that I lasted dancing, walking and partying all night with my high heel boots on… so anyway, at this club we were having a ball the 4 of us. We had Harold with us… Harold is a little teddy bear that has travelled the world with our French buddies and we were taking photos of Harold and with Harold everywhere… at one embarrassing point they put Harold in my cleavage…. After the photo was taken I had a couple (girl and guy) walk up to me and the girl said ‘hey great boobs’ and they both winked at me… omg! Did I just get hit on by a swinging couple? Well im taking this as a compliment! Mid 20’s and  stttiiilllll got it nice things are still said about me… hahaha I laugh cause im probably blowing hot air into my own little head. Yeah I had one guy at the club that seemed nice and he seemed very interested and you will all be happy to know that yes I did recognize it this time! Yes I did flirt and chat with the guy for a while, but because we were 2 girls with 2 guys I think this guy thought I was with one of the Frenchy boys and well he didn’t end up asking me for my number or anything. Anyway so after this partying we ended up back at my best friend’s house … there is where things changed with Frenchy boys..

 

It was 4.30am when we got back to her apartment we all sat on the lounges turned on the Foxtel cause we had gotten to that point where we are beyond sleepy and just watched pay tv. Frenchy number 1 and my friend ended up hooking up… they retreated to her room to ‘chat’ and so I was left on the couch with our other Frenchy Friend – Mr Makeout. Mr Makeout and I sat on the lounges talking… and suddenly he started to say things like ‘ do you think ill fit on that couch with you?’ ‘wat if I hug you will you push me off the couch?’ and given that we are friends I just thought, well this is my friend we are just going to sit on a couch like we have before where I just put my legs on his lap and just hang out.. he commenced to ask a few more questions and as I spoke he suddenly got off his couch, took my face and kissed me…. The thoughts running through my head were ‘omg my friend is kissing me! …. What should I do? Do I really want this? I don’t feel like I want him? He is an ok kisser but im not feeling it, im not feeling anything here… maybe I should stop kissing him.. maybe I should just not do this, he might get the wrong idea… he might think I want something more than I am willing to give.. I think I just wanna be friends… or should I give this a go? well lets give him a run see if i start to feel anything… He does kiss ok… hang on… I should prob slow down at this point because his hands are trying to get busy where there is  a VIP ACCESS ONLY area… ok I am really unsure what this is going to mean in a couple hours when the sun comes up’ – if you haven’t figured out already all these thoughts were going through my head while we were making out!

It was at that point that Frenchy number 1 and my friend came out of her bedroom… haha we were found a very compromising position.. but I put it down to ‘ he didn’t fit on the other couch and he kinda fell on top of me by accident..’ but since we all had done things that perhaps we would be regretting once the sun came up.. we all just began to talk as if nothing had happened.. it was an understood code silence - ‘we shall never speak of this again… we think’ we all sat together watching foxtel a little longer…until the boys decided they had to go home as they had to work today (they have a business together)…

 

My friend and I began to discuss the events of the wee hours of the morning.. and I confessed to her that I really don’t think we should encourage anything between me and Mr Makeout…. I was having makers out remorse…. My girl friend thought that i might be rushing the decision to not pursue anything with Mr Makeout… and she sold Mr Makeout on one key point she felt was of great importance ‘Susi Spice..he has a tongue ring…. Need I say more?’..

 

But I don’t feel right about this i realise at 10.30 in the morning that i see him just as a friend… soooooooo we shall be leaving this where it was left.. pretending that nothing happened… and we all stay friends like we were before.. there was nothing awkward when he left… we all parted ways as we would normally do and said we would catch up this week for dinner……… lets hope its left this way………….. nothing happened… right?

Dating in your mid 20’s – Train crush guy and the married men phenomenon 25, July, 2008

I know that I made an executive decision and firm affirmation that my crush on Train Station Crush Guy is over and it is. But this morning I had a very important conference to go to and thought well I might as well dress up. I must sat, at the risk of sounding like I have tickets on myself, for a change I felt like I was looking pretty hot. Well turns out train station crush guy was at the train station this morning and on my train but I didn’t see him because I caught the train at the last min and amongst the multitude of people I didn’t see him. I did see him once I got out at my stop and he had stepped out of the train to let other people out of his carriage. I walked right past him but I am pretty sure he didn’t see me… damnit!.. isn’t it just like that? The day you feel sexy and feel like you are looking mighty fine… the guy you want to notice you doesn’t and the men that you have absolutely no interest in, never could, never will are the ones that give the reactions you didn’t want to attract… hehe.

Today was one of those days.

Whenever I spot a guy that I think is nice or meet a guy that I look at and think ‘hello there… how you doin’ the first thing I ensure to do is check for a wedding band. If there is a wedding band/ring on that finger…. Hands off… property of wife and its just not a place I ever go to. It would be like voluntarily stepping into a field of landmines, KNOWING that there are landmines there and it would be just plain stupidity to flirt with or go after a married man. Well after I left the train and didn’t get to (flaunt myself) walk past the field of vision of train station crush guy I resumed my usual route to my office building. On the way two men seemed to continually smile at me and one who happened to work in my building kept making conversation… I know that it was probably just conversation but the point is that I was getting attention from married men… and that is the kind of attention that I just do not want or desire.

The worst story I have of married men interest in me happened a while ago. Again I was on the train (I know, I like taking public transport to work – I can hear you all now – susi spice ur a freak stop with the trains already) but anyway here is the sordid story.

I used to work in another company where I had pretty set hours. I would have my schedule and leave at the scheduled time and was on a routine of catching the train at the same time every day. One of these days I got to my home train station and was crossing the road.. a young man – Mr Smiley (prob about late 20’s or early 30’s) shone a small smile but I didn’t know him and my reaction as you all now know is a bit delayed with things like this so I didn’t smile figured it was not for me and just went on my merry way.  This kept happening for about 2 weeks..and been the clueless girl that I can be sometimes, I never replied the smile I just figured that the person he was smiling at just happened to always be behind me. Eventually the small smile became a bigger smile and this particular time I thought.. ‘do I know this guy?’ so I looked at him and smiled with that kind of look that says ‘do I know you?’ I cautiously looked back just in case it was to someone behind me, but this time there was no one behind me. This became the daily afternoon routine for another few weeks. I would get off the train, he would be there in his car in the same parking space on the road, he would smile I would smile back and id continue on my way home thinking nothing of it.

I would have to estimate that it was about a good couple of months maybe when I first noticed that something started to change. We had exchanged smiles and as I walked along that same stretch of road I noticed that a car, similar to his, drove past slowly… the windows were tinted so I couldn’t see who it was in the car. The car drove into a drive way and then reversed and drove back down in my direction, slowly again. But I chose to believe it was not Mr Smiley. This happened about 3 times in 1 week. Always driving up to a few driveways infront of me and then driving back. It then stopped – which as good. A few days later something else different happened, I was walking home and saw his car drive past me but this time he just kept going so I thought well I guess whoever he is picking up arrived and he is on his merry way…. But no… he drove past ..i thought..it couldn’t possibly have been him… then it happened a second time…. I thought to myself, ‘’susi spice you are just going crazy that was not him but if it was him… how did he manage to drive past in the same direction twice without going back up the street and me not seeing him??” So again I chose to believe that it wasn’t Mr Smiley… this particular routine happened on two other days and I figured out that he was actually doing blockies!! He actually started doing blockies … I was slightly freaked out but kinda flattered but was trying very hard not to believe that he was doing it for me… on the 4^th time it happened he slowed down, Mr Smiley wound down his window, smiled and gave me a lifted hand like a wave…I was shocked, embarrassed and yeah a little weirded out but I waved back. Mr Smiley had the biggest grin on his face that I had replied his wave and gave him the biggest smile since the beginning of our smiling encounters. It then began to happen that from then on, he would always wave and I would wave back.

By this point in time I had stopped working at the company with the regular schedule and had started working for another department where my hours were flexible and had a choice of when to start and finish work. I had also by this point in time, told my girl friends all about Mr Smiley and I had been set a challenge. To actually greet him, to say hello. It had been a couple weeks since id seen him but one day I did… I was about to cross the road from the train station, he opened his door and I thought he was about to get out, but he didn’t he sat back down and just smiled and waved… so I very perkily said  ‘’hi, how are you?’’ and flashed him a big smile…he replied with a big grin ‘’great thanks, see ya’’… and I kept on walking. He drove past and did a blockie.. seeing me entering my driveway he smiled and waved and kept on going. I was shocked at myself, I was feeling quite quite flattered and yeah what can I say?

The following Friday I had not seen him at all. I had planned on staying home and painting – no not painting my house or walls I was painting on canvas. So I got home, put on my painting pants, took off my bra and put on my old singlet top and started to paint… suddenly I got a knock at my door… I opened my door… took one look at the guy and reactively shut the door immediately… I thought ‘’OH MY GOD IT COULDN’T BE??? NO FREAKING WAY!!!’’… so I opened the door again slowly and peaked out… A man that looked like Mr Smiley was standing at my door… I must admit it was a weird, scary freaking yet strangely exciting… I didn’t even know what to say… and he began to speak and these were his words ‘’hi umm.. sorry to bother you… but.. um… well… I saw someone ..um… running out of your driveway and ..um.. wanted to let you know that you should check your car … um.. just yeah.. ‘’ he smiled and left… well are you confused about this???? Cause I was! I was totally confused! maybe this wasn’t Mr Smiley, so I closed my door lent back on it thinking, ‘’omg was this some weirdo that did something to my car???’’ so I stood there for 2 mins… then slowly opened my door.. peaked out… there was no one there…I slowly and carefully and cautiously stepped outside looking in all directions… he was gone I walked around my car ensuring that this guy hadn’t broken into it or left a note or something.. but it was fine. I stood at the top of my driveway (it’s a long drive way) looking out into the road and I noticed red lights peaking out from the bushes at the end of the drive way… the suddenly a car reverses back… OH MY FREAKING GOSH!!!!!! It was Mr Smiley!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mr Smiley had come to my door with some freaking incomprehensible story… WTF?!??? At that point yeah I was a bit freaked out… I thought who the F*** is this guy!????  I literally pointed at him as I said to myself.. oh my god its Mr Smiley… he then drove off.

I didn’t see him for 1 week, and when I finally saw him again I walked past his car and said.. ‘’ my car was fine, thank you’’ and kept walking. Mr Smiley ran after me and caught me about half a block down the road.. he started to apologise profusely ‘’im so sorry, please forgive me, you must think im a freak or a stalker but im really sorry to have freaked you out..it sjust that.. well..ive been seeing you for months and I just wanted to say hi…I got to your door and didn’t know what to say what I said was stupid it wasn’t what I had planned to say.. I am just so sorry im so embarrassed’’… I told him ‘’yeah you did freak me out, but just don’t do anything to me and we will just leave it alone and forget it ever happened hows that?’’ and we stood there and started to just talk… he introduced himself formally and I introduced myself.. we talked a little and then he asked me if i would give him the opportunity to take me out for a coffee. Against better judgement I accepted, we arranged to meet a coffee place of my choice on the Saturday. He didn’t show up.

Mr Smiley had stood me up.

That week I caught a very late train and as I had arrived at my station I finally finallyyy saw who he is picking up at the train station – it was a woman.. he didn’t see me though. I caught on that maybe this guy had a girlfriend.. I did see the girl and recognized her from my train… so the next time I saw her I talked to her, I said ‘’hi, um..do you know Mr Smiley?’’ and she very sweetly replied ‘’ yes I do’’ .. I continued ‘’ so you are Mr Smileys housemate?’’ – here I was fishing for information and she replied ‘’yes I am’’ and I decided to just confirm this information because I had in mind that if she was nothing of his except a friend, id give her my number to give to Mr Smiley to call me.. so I asked once again to reassure ‘’ So you are his housemate? His friend?’’ and she replied ‘’yes I am, Im his wife and you are?’’ … holy shit!!! Crap crap crap crap crap!!! ‘’im just a friend of his, oh look there is my train..well cya’’ and got the hell outta there… pretended to catch another train line and waited for her train to leave the station. Mr Smiley was a married man……

The next day I had finished work very late.. I was getting home around 7pm… and as I walked down my street I saw a car drive up near me, stop and call out my name ..it was Mr Smiley..he says to me ‘’Susi… hi.. ‘’  I continued with ‘’yeah hi.. I met your wife yesterday’’ and he seemed quite ashamed and admitted ‘’ im so sorry about that, yeah I heard that you had asked her about me.. I didn’t mean to stand you up and I didn’t mean to not tell you its just that she and I have been having problems’’ ‘’oooohhhhhhhhhhh hell nooo no no no no no nooo Mr Smiley… do not even go there… this is wrong and you are doing something really really bad’’ well a very long story short Mr Smiley and I stood there on the road talking, I played marriage counselor and offered him some advice ‘’ please don’t do this, don’t go around cheating on your wife, if you have problems then you have 2 choices.. 1) get marriage counseling, find out wats wrong in your marriage and commit to trying to make it work 2) decide that its over and leave her but don’t cheat’’.. turns out Mr Smiley was on his 2^nd marriage. He agreed and apologized again and despite it all said something that made me really warm inside, Mr Smiley said ‘’ your smile really would light up my day, and from our talk tonight you are truly really very sweet, you will make someone very happy’’. Then he made one final plea ‘’if my wife asks you how we know eachother can you just tell her that we knew each other a long time ago only?’’ I said to him, be it callous or not, ‘’Mr Smiley I wont lie for you, if your wife asks me I will tell her truth, you know this is an issue in your marriage that you need to sort out’’ he agreed that was fair enough and we parted ways.

A few days later I saw his wife on the train..she didn’t see me until she sat down on the seat opposite me … I think he must have told her about me because when she settled in and looked at me… her eyes started to tear up.. she seemed really hurt and furious..but immediately put on her sunnies and stared out the window for the entire ride.. I didn’t get up and leave because I had nothing to be ashamed of and I had done nothing wrong. But I did wish I could have apologized to her or said something but knew better to just let it be. I don’t know what ever happened to them because very soon she stopped catching that train and he never showed up at the train station ever again. For this reason and this experience… I always try to check for signs of a man been married. I would hate to ever purposely come between a couple.. it would just make me a terrible person.

Again I am left standing in this world thinking and conversing with God and the Karmic forces in our universe thinking… ‘’ Surely you can see that I am clearly making all efforts to ensure that I live by some kind of moral standard to do good to others and trying not to hurt people.. sooooo can I have my own guy now?’’ ha-ha

 

Condoleezza Rice in Perth – She came and She went 25, July, 2008

Condoleezza Rice came and went in a blink of an eye. From my office (been on quite a high building) I had a birds eye view of the school condi visited today, Mercedez Ladies College. I walked past it on my way to work, security was there but it wasn’t as heavy as I had imagined it would be. Police stood on every corner but everything seemed to go quite seamlessly.

She arrived in her white car convoy around 8.45-9am entered the school where she was met by quite a large media contingency. Police presence was notable but not imposing which was nice. I guess it’s because my city isn’t as high risk as other cities may have been. From where I was watching the men in black were scattered strategically in all corners of the surrounding buildings and school areas where Condi was. I didn’t get to see her up close I think I spotted her walking towards the auditorium as a large group of people in dark suits walked along with her. But just as quickly and as quietly as she arrived she left. I think the most stayed there was an hour or so.

 

I may not be a supporter of the administration to which she belongs, I definitely do not agree with the President she works for/with but on the whole looking at it from a different point of view, it would have been a really great and exciting opportunity for the girls at this school. Condoleeza Rice with is a woman, who despite all political opinions, has defied a lot of stereotypes. To begin with she is a woman and secondly she is a black woman in American politics and no matter what you have to give credit where credit is due and admire the fact she has climbed to such heights against high odds. I think the principles of hard work, education, perseverance and self belief are characteristics that Condi has demonstrated (career wise) would be very impressionable on all the girls who met her today. I hope she gave a good speech and was inspirational.

Dating in your mid 20’s – Blind as a bat lessons learned 24, July, 2008

I was having a conversation with some work colleagues and we were discussing the topic of the female to male ratio and how that affects meeting a great guy. Now everyone’s idea of a great guy is different. To me a great guy is a guy that is very family oriented, who isn’t selfish and knows that family is one thing you shouldn’t turn your back on, a guy who is gentle in temperament, easy going, has a good sense of humour, isn’t domineering or manipulative, affectionate, intelligent/smart/hardworking and responsible well these are some of the characteristics of someone that I would be completely attracted to I guess these are things that spring to mind because these are things that I would bring to the relationship … is that completely unrealistic?? Seriously? Is it?

 

I met this guy about a year ago of maybe a little be less than a year ago I cant really remember exactly. My friend and I were at this irish pub catching up. To me I was just catching up with a friend and not out to meet anyone and there was a group of guys there, when my friend went to the bathroom 2 of the guys sat down at my table and started to talk to me, turns out it was a bucks night (bachelor party for those non aussie’s) they were great fun we laughed and talked and I was introduced to the buck’s/groom’s cousin (Mr Potential) he seemed like a really nice guy… at the time –as usual – I had Nooooooooooo idea and didn’t even think that this guy could possibly have been interested in me.. he was cute, seemed really sweet I love sweet haha I like sweet, sweet is so nice and warm and adorable and it feels like home… but I digress.. well point is I can be completely oblivious to guys who might be interested in me, sometimes I need to be hit upside the head and be told ‘I LIKE YOU, HELLO? ME IM HERE AND LIKE YOU, YOU SUSI SPICE, YOU!’ cause otherwise I could miss all the clues.. On this particular occasion my radar was out big time. The next weekend we went back to that Irish pub (we used to love that pub) Mr Potential shows up again out of the blue and he seemed really happy to see me there, that night was really fun, he called up his other friends and they joined us he sat right up next to me really close, he would pull my chair out if needed to get up, he would push it in when i returned, paid attention to every word I said just really attentive so sweet… and at the time I honestly did not think he was interested in me … then I made THE big boo boo … dumb boo boo actually… infact my girl friends threw their hands up in the air literally after finding out about this big boo boo infact I got severely told off by all my friends over this boo boo ha-ha and yeah I learned a big lesson.. see the night I met Mr Potential he was at his cousin’s bucks night.. among the group was a really really hot looking guy… and at some point in the conversation we were having that second time we met I asked a friend of his ‘who was the hot guy with the striped shirt?’ well, Mr Potential heard this – he had supersonic hearing cause at this pub it was noisy!- so Mr Potential heard this question and immediately looked at me and said ‘that was my other cousin’s husband’… by the way he looked at me and sighed and just stopped been the happy talkative person he had been for the entire night he just went quiet and wasn’t laughing as much anymore… it was then at that point that it hit me…oh.. my…god… I think Mr Potential may like me… and I like him…. Oh crap what did I just say that for!?? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Well shortly after that Mr Potential said that he “had” to leave .. I gave him my number.. However he never called… man I have been so dumb sometimes when it comes to guys.. this is why I am probably single.. the nice guys that I come across that might actually like me, I just simply have no clue that they like me back… or that they like me at all… and by the time I do realize it and begin to demonstrate it back its too late or I stuffed it up with my big mouth and because I didn’t think before I spoke (not always but a lot of times)… but you know Mr Potential should have been more proactive too! He could have asked for my number earlier, he could have invited me out for a coffee just him and me but he didn’t… or reality check… maybe he didn’t like me after all? I mean all this is in hindsight and also the opinions of my friends who were there, they thought that he was definitely into me. They did tell me but I didn’t believe them I just thought my friends were trying to just get me to go out with anyone for the sake of it (remember the secret online dating profile they secretly signed me up for?) well the lessons learned in hindsight is that I really need to learn to have a bigger ego  more confidence and be self assured and for me to demonstrate my interest and not leave it all to the guy to do so that is my mid years resolution be more demonstrative with my interest with guys that I like. If you dont try you never never know right?

Well anyway getting back to the conversation with my colleagues one girl (Lorena) she said the funniest comment. Denise is gay and has a girlfriend and based on this fact Lorena said ‘you know they say that there are more girls that guys, so my solution to the matter is that there should be more lesbians so that they reduce the competition, Denise thank you for reducing the competition’ I thought it was hilarious Denise thought so too. And we all agreed that gay men seem to get all the good ones!

 

Unlike many women ive spoken to and many conversations with friends and acquaintances who believe that there are no good men left in Perth, im trying to not believe that, but the ones that are good are taken or some of the ones that ive met that are good either I am not their type or they are not my type. I have a friend who is moving to another city and one of the reasons they have cited for leaving this city is that she feels there is no hope in finding a good guy here. Can this really be true? Seriously? No great guys left? Seriously cannot believe this. For another point of view you should read Arabian Princess blog on my blog roll and read her post on Kyle Sandilands and Jackie O’s theory on finding a great guy.. very funny.  

 

Prove them wrong Perth! Great guys please don’t be shy! Get out there we great girls are out there too! If you come across me though, you may have to just be a little bit more obvious or just right out say it haha.

Dating in your mid 20’s and internet romances 24, July, 2008

I really have become quite astounded at the number of people experiencing internet romances.

 

 I was watching a documentary on the SBS channel (im sorry I cant find the exact name of it I cant find it on the tv guide) but it followed 5 or 6 young Chinese people and the things they are going through, demonstrating what it is like in the new China for them and so on. Well one guy he was 25 years old I believe and a rapper/DJ by trade. He told his story of meeting a friend of a friend online like on MSN chat type thing and this online friendship developed into a blossoming relationship. He sent her all his savings – money so that she could go visit him and spent time with his in his city and as soon as she received his money she disappeared never to be heard of again. 6 or so months later he saw her online and asked her what happened why didn’t she come and all she replied was ‘I got scared I thought you might kill me’… now stop right there… I have two issues with this already; firstly why on earth did this guy send all his savings to a girl he has never met before? And secondly, the girl, I can empathise with the feeling that this guy could be a serial killer but if she got scared I think the right thing to have happened was for her to return the poor guy’s money to him but no it seems she kept it and he never saw it again.

 

I went overseas last year and was travelling certain parts of the world and came across another, more tragic, internet romance story. A young 15 year old girl from the town I was staying in met a guy on the internet they talked and had a romance for 6 months before he decided to travel across the country to meet her, he was 17 or so they said. He arrived at the town they went out for one day, yes ONE day, that’s all he came for and he returned to his home town she never heard from him again. Turns out 3 months later after the girl was suffering great depression and heart break she finds out she was pregnant and he was the father. She could not contact him, he didn’t return phone calls or emails and a week before her next school term began she took her own life. She left a note explaining the whole shamble to her parents and apologising for getting herself pregnant. She explained that she could not live with her heart break, she felt the utmost rejection she could possible stand and that knowing she was pregnant with his child all she could think of was how immensely she would disappoint her parents, the humiliation she would feel in school and that she felt her life had ended and it might as well end physically as well.

 

How many of us have loved to such a degree? I think a lot of us and throughout history people have felt how the heart knows no boundaries sometimes. It is a new phenomenon though, this falling in love with a stranger over a computer screen and words. Why does it happen? I have heard of some internet romances having quite the happy ending. A few years ago I came across a guy who met a girl in the USA over the internet after 9 months he flew over to meet her and they married within 6 months. Last time I heard they were on to baby number 3.

 

Maybe having someone on the other side of this digital fence is safer to begin with? Maybe its not really real but at the same time it’s the most real thing that is happening to that person and so they feel safer, freer to express their desires, dreams and live out fantasies that otherwise may never come to fruition. Because you can ‘delete’ sentences that you may later regret, maybe because time is on your side and you can think about your responses. You do not have the person with you by your side to really see how they act and react to certain situations. The person tells you how they are, what they like, how they act, so maybe it’s the idea of that person that one could fall ‘in love’ with and not the real person.

 

I have a particular theory now, with my own love life experiences, which says that no matter what the situation you should judge how much are you willing to lose of yourself? And if you can understand that then go ahead and love to the degree you want… as long as you are aware of what you are risking in been in that relationship. I am not claiming that is right, its just something that is in the back of my head.. as Arabian Princess (see blogroll) once put it to me.. where do we draw the line in the sand?

 

I think we should all have lines in the sand that if a person crosses that line that you will not stand for it. Protecting ones self whilst at the same time not letting those lines or walls hinder any beautiful relationships that could come our way is the balancing act that we all seem to try and juggle.

 

God love can be so complicated… but it can be oh so so beautiful and that is what I look forward to.

Condoleezza Rice in my home city of Perth 24, July, 2008

A lot of people will be very interested to know that Condi (Bushes right hand man) is coming to town!

 

Here is my little jig to the tune of the 7 dwarfs song:

 

Hi ho! Hi ho!

Its off to Perth we go..

with a whistle and tick and a tickle and a pick

hi ho… hi ho hi ho hi ho….

 Hi ho… its off the Perth we go..

bring’n with us the terrorists risks and more hi ho, hi ho hi ho hi ho…

 

I think maybe I should stop taking public transport to work or anywhere for that matter…

 

Funny story – one of my friends who shall remain nameless has always been accused of looking like a dead-wringer for Condi Rice, she is freaking out that people will confuse her for Condi and proposed to change her hair colour to blonde.

I pointed out that if she does that the tabloid press may snap a picture of her (my friend) and headline it ‘Condi gone Blondi!?’

But the best line came from our friend Flowers

‘GOOD god… you’d look like Storm from X-men’

So I think the concessus is that she just leaves the city for the duration of Condi’s visit.

A moment of philosophical thought. 24, July, 2008

Something short and sweet and meaningful:

 

What are your top 7 wonders of the world?

Niagara Falls?

Grand Cayon?

EmpireState building?

The Taj Mahal?

Great Wall of China?

 

Can I propose this to you?

 

1.    To see  

 

2.    To hear

 

3.    To touch

 

4.    To feel

 

5.    To laugh

 

6.    To think

 

7.    And to love