Down with love! nahhhhhhh just over it for now… 30, September, 2008

If there is one thing I am truly getting sick of hearing (no offence Arabian Princess) is the line

“you have got to get yourself out there”

Blah blah blah blah blah

 

Everyone  has felt the need to give me advice. I know ive talked about the difficulty in finding a good guy and that yeah I do look forward to meeting a good guy one day soon but man it seems everyone who is in a relationship think it is easy and I should just ‘get myself out there more’… I go out, ok I don’t go out clubbing and don’t go out to pubs/bars a lot because I don’t really drink and clubs well the clubs here in my city are so lame by the time I was 21 I had been and done every single club that existed and am over that scene and NEVER did I meet a good guy that was worth staying with in a club, bar or pub..but its not like I can just go out into the street and say “hi im susi spice, im supposed to be getting out more because I want to meet more people” how much of a loser does that sound!????? I mean come on people! Im not the only one that knows its hard to meet a good guy now-a-days usually everyone meets someone through someone else they know or through work (if you believe statistics)…but I tell you my friends SUCK at introducing me to new guys (love my friends though hehe)… all ive heard is ”i have this guy u should meet” and nothing ever came of them. Well I put it down to it wasn’t meant to be…

 

I took my French classes because ive always had a love of that language but did I meet anyone there? Yes I did……..lots of women and OLD people going on holidays to France hehe. And I am sooooo not the type of girl who goes out doing lots of classes for the sake of meeting a guy…….god that is sooooooo bridget jones or sex and the city and I don’t have bloody writers who are guaranteeing me a happy ending! I know a girl Ellie who is 31 she is a very attractive engineer and goes to numerous classes … she has cooking classes on Monday nights, some sort of psychological life coaching class on Tuesdays, Wednesdays she does salsa dancing and Thursdays she attends a language class….. now in 2 years she has never once ONCE PEOPLE Ever met a guy through attending so many classes of things… so I know that’s a load of crap.

 

I guess im feeling over it at the moment. No matter where I go I can’t escape the questions

“sooo hows is your boyfriend”…which is code for ‘I don’t want to ask if you have a boyfriend but if I ask this way you will give me an answer and it wont seem so rude that i assume ur single’

“oh don’t worry it’ll happen when you least expect it”

Normally this is what I get from everyone I see, most of my friends parents talk and my mums friends oh how my mum’s friends talk about this… even when I am sitting right there… Lately what ive been retaliating with is “and do you still see your ex husband?” that usually gets them bitching about their ex’s and they all start bagging men out…. Hahahha that’s been turning the conversations from “susi is so nice shes a lovely girl I don’t know why she seems to be unlucky in love” to “men can be terrible and they give you so much heart ache she is better off she is young and she should enjoy her life” and then they start divulging all the problems their married sons and daughters are having and how so and so’s daughter just got pregnant and the man is staying with her but he isn’t happy… HUH!

 

Feel sorry for me… i dont think so booooooooo

 

I think ill plan my next holiday trip instead…though that’s looking a bit dicey given how world economies and our dollar is dropping in value… but nonetheless  I will still plan it… not sure if I should still go ahead and go to Egypt or if I should go back to Canada and Central America………. Decisions…decisions…..

THE question Answered… 26, September, 2008

I am concerned at the number of people who have found my blog by googling the question:

 

‘’Should I date a married man?’’

Or

‘’I am dating a married man’’

Or

‘’I have a crush on a married man should I tell him how I feel and ask him out?’’

Or

“he is married but he loves me should I stay with him?’’

 

People People people…. there is only one answer for all this:

HHEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

I will say it again in the three languages I speak:

 

English: HHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Spanish: CLARO QUE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

French: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

 

I will spell it out

N – O

 

What on earth are you thinking? You think he will leave his wife and marry you and live happily ever after? Ummmmmmmmmm NAHHHHHHH

 

You think he will never cheat on you as he does his wife?
AHHHHHHHHH NAHHHHHHHHHH

 

Why on earth would you put yourself as the pig in the middle of two people who have a relationship knowingly and voluntarily? It will never end right. And guess what? At the end of the day the wife will not get as angry with the husband as she will with you… The truth always comes out. It might work out for a year or two but in the end, it wont end well for him or you.

 

If a man decides to go outside of his marriage its normally because he is unhappy because of some reason and is looking for a rebound of sorts…

 

Even if he is marriage does end and fall apart and he does stay with you for a while, when all of that is over he will leave you it wont last. He will end up moving on to someone else… always. And you will feel shit for been a homewrecker… and been left with nothing.. just remember what goes around comes around……

 

But on your head be it if you choose this path…

 

Why date a married man when there are perfectly good guys out there who are single (yes hard to find i grant you but they are out there) and if all else fails… there is always adultshop.com people… have some dignity! Don’t be the pig in the middle who end with all the blame of a marriage breakup or problems.

Love, heat break and hope….. 25, September, 2008

I went shopping tonight because I was trying to find a dress to wear to a wedding on Saturday… alas have not found one….. really need to find one before 3pm Saturday…

Anyway as I shopped I get a message from my sister…

“Tell mum to never mention Ryan to me. Ill say it once but please just all let me be alone. I just found out he cheated on me and left me for someone else ok. That’s it no more discussion”..

Now knowing my sister she is in a lot of pain but refuses to lean on anyone… and that’s as far as she will open up for now…maybe in a few days, or weeks she will open up.. but when I read that message… it really hurt me too..i felt her pain. I wanted to cry right there in the middle of the store because I remembered how awful I felt when it happened to me.

 

I quickly left the store and went home to at least be there for her. She is in her room, occasionally I can hear the gasps for air between the crying that are far too familiar to me. It hurts me a lot because we welcomed him and his baggage (2 young sons) into our family and loved them as our own, we accepted him and all his faults…. I welcomed him into MY house and allowed him to live with us for a few months, I thought he was not like most guys out there… but turns out he is. He always spoke about how he would never cheat on anyone because he knew how it felt…and low and behold there it is…. Cheated…

 

I know my sister too well, if I really had a massive blow up at him over this she would get angry at me for interfering but I did none the less…. It was via Text Message but I still did it. Of course he didn’t reply.

 

You know why this has really really really upset me so much that as im writing the tears just fall down my face and are landing on my chest just at my heart…. Because I just don’t understand why do men have to hurt us so much…..

 

My dad well I wont even go there but suffice to say that he left my mum in a terrible state, he hurt her more over 20 odd years than I could ever handle…. He hurt me and my sister too (which worries me about how my sister will cope with all this)… I had a boyfriend years ago that I have mentioned briefly who also cheated on me (several times) and I went through a few years of a lot of pain and it was really hard to come out of that… my two close friends, Carla has been through so much pain with guys too (luckily it seems she has found a good one now which makes me happy for her) and my best friend went through so much (she also has found a great guy and im happy for them)….. but you know …. It has really saddened me….

 

We are not the only ones to have gone through this, a lot of people have, its just painful when someone you love so much is in so much pain also… I wish I could take it away from her because I know what it feels like and it can be so debilitating and so painful. I know she will learn one of the biggest lessons in life through this and I know that my job is to help her through this without her knowing I am helping her… I have to be smart about it because she will normally reject any outright kind of help… So here I am in the next room next to her. She knows im here, she knows she has me.

It did make me wonder as to the point of having any kind of hope of finding a good guy that I will love till death do us part when they can promise the world tell you ‘I love you’ smack bang and when you least expect it a split second they have speared you right through the heart in cold blood and walk away without a second thought as to the mess of shattered glass they leave behind…

 

I have chosen to try and remain hopeful…but who knows…. Who knows….

 

If you are a good guy who might be reading this, please, please, please don’t change… I may not find the man I am looking for just yet and you may not be him but I promise you that if you are a good guy you will make the right girl so happy and she you… there aren’t many of you out there, it’s a rare species… if you are a good who thinks he should change and treat women badly in order to get a girl…you are so wrong…. Women who say they want a bad boy or women who tell you that you are too nice… are stupid, they don’t know how to appreciate you, hey probably have not gone through real love and been hurt by one of those bad guys and you are better off without them…. Please don’t stop been a good guy… there aren’t many of you out there..

 

I think I will risk my life and risk been yelled at and possibly have things thrown at me but I will go offer my sister a cup of tea… i will understand because ive been there before (I don’t yell or throw things, my sister is the one with the temper… hehe) but even when you are crying out to be alone… knowing that someone is there despite you been in that state does give you comfort even if you don’t admit it at the time….

 

Susi spice signing off for tonight…sad and disillusioned with men…. But hoping that one day life will give us a break….I cant have this ability to love so much to not ever share it with a life partner… for now though my lil sister you have my love…I know you say u don’t want it or need it but you have it anyway, always will…

 

 

 

 

Susi Spice has met someone…. 24, September, 2008

Well I have met someone….

 

I have liked this guy for a while now since I met him. He is Colombian, very good looking (to me) we seem to always have lots to talk about.. well today finally we swapped phone numbers…

 

But im having second thoughts……. This makes me a terrible person I think!

I was so excited and anxious at getting this guy to swap phone numbers with me and he finally made the move and now I don’t know……

 

You know what did it?

What did it was when he said, “I am really unsure what I wanna do with my life, I don’t know what I really want its confusing”

 

It kinda disappointed me…. But I shouldn’t write him off this soon……

 

But I just wanna say I don’t wanna be the fixer you know what I mean? They get all successful on your help (because they asked u to help) then they forget you ever existed… done that before and don’t wanna do it again…

 

I don’t know… see what happens. Cant speculate too much haven’t gone out on a date yet..

I love you – no you dont! 21, September, 2008

I am really quite annoyed, in fact im very annoyed very annoyed with my friend, Derrick so annoyed and men are so arrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Well ill go back a few years so you understand why I am sooooo annoyed with him now. See a few years ago I had this one boyfriend that I have written about briefly, I went through an extremely dark period in my life as a result of how much he hurt me. Anyway it was towards the end of 2001 when I met Derrick. We met through a uni acquaintance and started to talk often because we were both in a similar place…his engagement had ended 6 months prior and he was still quite affected by it and my ex boyfriend had cheated on me numerous times so it started off as two people who were in a low place together and we seemed to kind of rally each others spirits and we spent a bit of time chatting and occasionally catching up.

 

After about 3 or so months of being friends we seemed to develop quite an attraction but I was scared of getting involved with anyone at that stage because id just been so hurt by the ex boyfriend and thought this guy is probably on the rebound because his engagement had broken up so I took most of the things he said with a grain of salt. I was quite resistant on anything happening and really tried to avoid it. He did one very special thing that to this day he swears he has never done for anyone else… one day he rang me it was about 8 at night, and I had just been crying my eyes out in my room (about the ex boyfriend cheating) and when I answered he could tell I had been upset. He wanted to come around and pick me up go for a coffee but I refused to go out… then he surprised me (on the phone) he said ‘sus you really don’t believe anything I feel for you and I really want u to know, I am not wordy bloke I don’t express a lot but this is how I can tell you something I really need u to hear’ and he started to play his guitar on the phone to me and sing… yes he was a bad singer…but none the less the guy sang to me… it was soo sweet, it made me cry even more..yeah he said stuff about how he felt and that he did feel something that he thought was love.. but even so I still said to him that I didn’t believe him and that I did like him and care about him but that I thought he was still on the rebound…(now I realize that it was actually me that was on the rebound but I kept projecting my status on him) anyway..he tried … but I kept him still as a friend…we lost touch for a few years and about 18 months ago I got a call from him… and we chatted on the phone…he was now living in Queensland started up his own business and low and behold now married with a child….

 

So we have kept in touch maybe every couple weeks send a text message to say hello how things are going and that’s about it…

 

Last night I went out to celebrate my friends Hen’s night (bachelorette party for you american’s).. we were at Carla’s house having a few drinks and a something to eat before heading out to the clubs when I get a message from Derrick ‘love you’…. I figured, hey he sent this to the wrong person better tell him before his wife thinks he actually ment it for me…. So here is the transcript of the text messages that followed:

 

Derrick:          love you

Susi Spice:      I think you sent that to the wrong person ha ha but love ya back (me joking)

Derrick:          laugh.I do love you

Susi Spice:      aww thanks babe love ya back (im thinking he just playing now)

Derrick:          I do love you honey

Susi Spice:      love ya too hugs xx (im thinking he drunk and he still playing around)

Derrick:          Susi, I love you

Susi Spice:      im at a Hen’s night hehe too bad its not mine (trying to change subject)

Derrick:          I would have married you you know

Susi Spice:      ha ha I think you drunk

Derrick:          laugh. Nope just saying how I feel

Susi Spice:      big hugs, gnite (im thinking…. Hmmm too strange to explain better end this conversation right now)

Derrick:          Goodnight hugs

 

Anyway I was a bit baffled, but figured he probably did send that message to the wrong person and he was just messing around..though he has never done that before. So I let it go and put it down to he was drunk. (but he rarely drinks … but still I chose to believe he was drunk)… so this morning around 11am I sent him another message and the following is a faithful narrative of what the text message conversation was:

 

Susi Spice:      hey, so how hung-over are you today? Hehe (hint hint im thinking hoping that you tell me you were totally off your face and smashed please……..?)

Derrick:          Laugh. Nope im fine this morning you know I don’t drink like that.

(I was a little concerned but I really didn’t know how to bring up the thing that happened last night and ask him about it)

Susi Spice:      You sure?? You seemed pretty smashed..ha ha… how many people did fall in love with last night? Ha ha (note the increasing ha ha’s in my text message..it was my way of saying…. It was a joke right??????)

Derrick:          Just realized theres one.

(then immediately it followed with a second message before I could respond)

Derrick:          Its all good. I was joking, I knew you were at hen’s night I was just playing with you

(now the problem here with that message is that he DID NOT know I was at a hen’s night until I messaged him that AFTER his 4^th I love you message…. )

Susi Spice:      Is everything ok with you? And don’t give me your usual its fine, im fine, has something happened? (I am asking this because I suspect that maybe he had a fight with his wife.. or something bad like that happened and he was just in a bad place ..yes people don’t forget this is concerning to me because he is married!…)

Derrick:          Everything is good. Nothing bad has happened. No worries. You have a good day. Take care.

Susi Spice:      ok… good, im glad everything is good J hugs. Have a good day.

 

WHAT THE HELL!???????????????????

I don’t know, now that I have written about it in this post, my thoughts have evolved to a resolution on this topic. It meant nothing. It probably really was a message sent to the wrong person (ie it was meant for his wife and he was just joking around after all, he did indicate he was laughing in a few of those messages. Sooooooooo lets just let it go. It didn’t mean anything. Derrick wouldn’t do that to his wife and he knows how I feel about those kinds of things.. we will let it go and will treat it as if it never happened… best course of action me thinks.

 

But still I roll my eyes… bloody men….. timing geezz can it be any worse?? Ill just get back to watching the Simpsons hehe.

How to tell what kind of a person you are dating.. 19, September, 2008

There are different types of personality types when it comes to partners. You have read me describe some of them. I dubbed them Push Pull men but Cosmo has once again beat me to the punch line and they published an article this month (September 2008 Cosmopolitan magazine) that described all kinds of people and their ‘flirt’ styles. Now my comments in regards to each of the descriptions below is in colour.

The Insta-mate
He really, really likes you… which seems flattering at first, until you realise that what he really likes is being in a relationship with, well, just about anyone willing to stick around. Don’t be surprised if, on date #2, he invites you to move in, permanently, and you decide to move on, permanently. Doesnt this one sound great?… in theory. I happen to know of a guy who is exactly as this describes. He seems to be in love with the idea of been in love. This guy aches to be in a formal relationship, wants the whole marriage and kids thing… my friend Arabian Princess wanted (at once stage) to introduce me to this guy I am speaking of. At first I have to be honest I thought…hey a man after my own heart.. you don’t come across guys who actually are purposely and actively seeking out to be in a relationship.. but as time went on and I found out more about this guy, I am pretty sure it was a good idea not to introduce him to him because he is seriously Mr Insta-mate to the core! He falls in love so fast, so hard, so determined and so instantaneously that for me to be with a guy like this I could never believe he actually believed i was “the one”. Think about it, you meet a guy who thinks that every single girl before you was it… yet none of them worked out. Mr Insta-mate has met someone, he apparently met her over the internet and is certain with all his heart apparently (albeit for the 5^th time in a row) he has found ‘the one’ he knew this before even meeting her…so i guess there will be wedding bells soon enough. But really to be with someone like this, i would always be wondering if they really did care about me or really did love me or if he was just in it because he was so desperate to be in a relationship he clung on to the first thing that he caught his hands on.

The Overlapper
Think Insta-mate, but with better planning skills. Perpetually prepared for the day you two part ways, they always have someone else lined up or waiting in the wings so they can seamlessly move from one relationship to the next. Usually chooses their next mate from the extensive pool of opposite-sex friends they invariably have. Will most likely drive you nuts with jealousy before you throw in the towel. I think we all have a friend or two like this. In a way its a safe bet at all times because if you are like this, and someone does break up with you its easier to pick up the pieces and move on because you always had a back up. Can i also add to this that the Overlappers are a very skilled lot…cunning with timing, extremely well prepared and rarely get caught out. Quite a gift some might say.

The “Life Is A Box Of Chocolates” Charmer
This open-minded adventurer views the dating world as his own personal smorgasbord. He’s with a hot Brazilian dancer one month, a buttoned-down lawyer the next. A particular favorite of his married friends because he shares stories of his latest escapades, he “likes to keep my options open,” so if you’re trying to get one to settle down, don’t hold your breath.  Come on admit it people, this is usually that one person that everyone wants and no one can really get. The ones that seem to get them don’t last long. I wouldn’t go for this type because they will always be looking out for the next one even while they are sitting next to you and holding your hand. Been there done that never again.

The Prince/Princess His and Her Highness are thrilled to be in a relationship—as long as you do all the work. They stick around for free meals, great sex and all-around coddling, but balk at the boring responsibility that comes with doing their share in a relationship of equals. A great match with parental types and suckers, but otherwise way too much effort.  Ditto do you hear that people…. if you stay with someone like this yeah you are ‘SUCKER’ because you will always give give give give and they will always take take take and then ask you why you are not giving them enough attention. I believe “succubus’’ could be synonymous with this.

The Peter Pan Fan
He keeps getting older… but the women he dates don’t. Usually male and sometimes painters, musicians or billionaires, the Peter Pan philosophy is that “age is just a number” —as long as your number is a lot lower than his. My dad is like this… 3^rd wife and she is like 3 years older than me… though he isn’t a millionaire or anything…… as far as i know but then again he doesn’t tell me these things hehe.

The Fake Date
You’re the best of friends. You cook dinners together, rent movies, crash in each other’s apartments, and for all intents and purposes, act like a couple. Maybe you’ve got a crush on this person and would like to take things further, but he or she wouldn’t want to “ruin the friendship” by getting romantically involved. The harsh truth? Deep down, these sorts get a huge ego boost from knowing you’re secretly in love with him or her. Trust us, you don’t have a chance. Ooo fine line fine line on this type… because maybe the person really just does love to hang out and do stuff together and its just friends. I was like that with my friend Brent and couple others. I am not like this, im just saying that you shouldn’t think that everyone that says ‘we don’t want to ruin the friendship’ should be lumped into this category or is exclusively like this.

The List-Maker
The List-Maker has a long checklist of what she’s looking for in a date; it may even be written down. And yet, as much as she’s out there meeting plenty of fine people, she never finds someone who fits the bill… maybe because that bill includes that her date must have a Ph.D., a second home in Paris, and moonlight as an underwear model. Ooooohhh welllll … Good luck with that one…… is all i have to say about it. Ok i do have more to say.. this type of person will never ever think that you or anyone is good enough. Their list always tends to change with everyone they meet. Their well known line is ‘yeah he/she is almost everything I want except …’. This person can be very hard to please and will always be wanting you to be excelling or changing for them. They have this picture in their head of what they want and will try everything to change to into how they think you should be that will work for them.

 

Catch And Release
This dater is super-attentive with a seemingly unbridled interest in you—and the less interested you seem, the more ardently he pursues you with flowery emails, frequent phone calls and fabulous first dates. But once you’re hooked? He wants out. In his mind, where’s the fun unless you’re on the run? Picture them like this…Dr Jekyl and Mr Hyde except they are more like Pepe Le Piu and the Abominable Snowman.

The Crumb-Thrower
These frustrating characters do just enough to keep you interested, but not a smidgen more. Plus, they seem to have a sixth sense about when you’re getting fed up—and will give you just enough extra attention to keep you hanging on. It is possible to move this relationship forward, inch by inch, but the Crumb-Thrower is never happy about it… so why try? If you have read my previous posts this describes Mike down to a tea!

The Camel
These hardy souls can go for ages without a relationship, but it’s generally by choice; after all, she has plenty of friends, a bustling career, and more to keep her busy. She may not be a bad bet, because if she chooses you, at least it’s because she really wants to be with you, not because she loathes her own company. As hard as it is to admit…this is me…. this is truly truly me… but i think im a combination of The Camel and The Keeper below. Susi Spice Keeper Camel…? haha

The Keeper
Finally, there are those all-too-rare daters. He or she calls as promised, doesn’t take things too fast or too slow, is fun, kind and doesn’t want to date anyone else after falling for you. If you find one like this, hold on tight! Santa this is what I want for Christmas!!!

Hilarious Comedy bits that insult EVERYBODY hahaha enjoy 17, September, 2008

There are times in life when we ALL have certain thoughts on people. I am sure that i fall into someones catergory that can make fun of me, i am sure of it… but for now here are a few of my favourite videos that i have come across. Carlos Mencia might seem a bit harsh but its still funny - dont take it too serious people its just observational! THe last video has some awesome dating advice

 

 

 

 

 

Where have all the good guys gone!??? 17, September, 2008

How many times have girls constantly complained and asked how there are no good men left in this city (or world), that there are no guys that are willing to stand up for women/justice/right things. Well if you have not heard this, I have and I have been guilty of asking the very question myself on several occasions.

 

There have been songs written about this, I recall an old song that I used to love when i was younger called ‘’where have all the cowboys gone’’ by Paula Cole and …yeah i ask ‘’Where is my lonely ranger?’’ ‘’where is my honourable man?’’ as the song says.

 

I have been suffering from writers block for a while now, not much blog-worthy has happened and so I haven’t really posted anything of interest. But today something happened that motivated me to post. I decided to go to work very early.. arrive there by 7.30am because I wanted to leave early in the afternoon. Therefore, as per my usual routine, I caught the train. At my train station, I noticed a guy that seemed same age or a little younger than. I guess early to mid 20’s. He was presentable enough, good looking enough to catch my eye and then I heard him speaking on his mobile phone (cell phone for you North Americans) and he came across as a little rough if you know what i mean. We boarded the train and I was observing him….yes observing not perving… i watched how he  would look sort through passengers and ensured that the elderly and a pregnant lady were seated before he chose to sit down. I thought, wow this is nice, what a change! I have not seen this kind of gentlemanly behaviour in a long long long time. So that impressed me. Then at each stop he would be on the look out for elderly people and he would offer his seat to them (most said no, so he ended up keeping his seat) but nonetheless he offered! I was totally impressed by this guy! That to me he seemed rough because of the way i had heard him speak but as i observed him it became very clear that he has really good manners and it shows that he is thoughtful of others. By the end of the trip i was finding this guy extremely attractive because of the way he carried himself in public and behaved how he did despite no one asking him to give up his seat or offer it. (trust me this kind of thing DOES NOT happen often AT ALL).  Well that was the first thing.

 

The next thing that happened to me as walked through the pedestrian walkway from the train station to my office building, this young guy who appeared to be a bit street thugish continued ahead of me by only a few paces. Suddenly out of the blue shouted swearing and punched the rails of the walk way… yeah i admit it scared me because I was still half asleep and secondly this aggressive guy came out of nowhere with his sudden burst of anger. A man walking behind me asked: 

“he scared you did he?” to which my reply was composed of a little laugh and ‘’ yeah he did’’

With that this psycho lunatic guy turns around and shouts at me “are you laughing at me bitch!??”… I was a little more scared at that point, I knew that there was something seriously wrong with this guy so I stood there and at that point, the man who had asked me that question kinda pulled out infront of me, stood infront of the crazy guy looking at him not saying anything.. the crazy guy looked a bit scared of this man because he was this big huge buff African man and all the crazy guy said in a slightly less angry voice was

“well i would beat the shit out of you bitch if you laugh at me again”.. I just tried to keep on walking and my African bodyguard stranger man suggested i walk infront of him and said, and i quote, “don’t worry ill protect you”…….. WOW!!!!!!!!! WWWWOOOOOWWWW who says that anymore!??? I Was so totally totally impressed with this man!!!!!!! I thought it was awesome for him to be brave enough to do that. I was totally thankful to him..

“ill protect you” 3 of the sweetest words I have heard EVER. Haha

Mr Africa man was my hero!

 

Why why are there not more men like this out there?? Actually maybe the question is..where is my man that i want like this??? Hehe.

 

I do, despite the criticisms I may get from staunch feminists I do like a man who would want to look after me, i don’t NEED a man to look after me but it would be nice to have one that would WANT to… I can take care of myself, but you know it would be nice to have a man that you can trust and know that in any kind of situation he would stand up for you, he would take care of you. That if the relationships goes anywhere he would look after the family you both would have in all aspects and if you are in danger that sort of thing would be capable and willing to protect…. ahhh to dream…

 

Do you see… yeah i dare to dream… what can i say..

Food to make you skinny!!! finally!!! 12, September, 2008

I always knew that i was on to something when reaching for my chocolate and nuts, and my pizza at times when i am wanting comforting haha. now its proof! this is why i do not weight 100kgs and can still eat what i want!

 

and it must be true because it was in Cosmo magazine hehe.

 

 

Comfort foods that make you skinny

By Sarah Reid

 

Ever wondered why traditional “feel good” foods like chocolate and mashed potato tend to make you feel, er, fat?

Why do we reach for the takeaway food menu when we’re stressed out? Some experts say we’re psychologically programmed to yearn for foods we associate with happiness as kids; others say we condition ourselves to believe certain foods will make us feel better (or worse). But one thing is for sure: when we need a pick me up we reach for carbs. They lead the body to produce serotonin – the brain chemical responsible for restoring our chirpy mood.
So, what’s the secret to eating comfort foods in the right way?
             
While carbs are a vital part of a healthy diet because they give us energy, it’s their glycaemic index (GI) we need to watch out for. “GI is a ranking given to foods to describe how quickly the carbs they contain are digested and absorbed into the blood,” says dietician Melanie Marino. “Foods that are quickly digested have a high GI (70 of more) and foods that take the longest are low GI (less than 55).”
              
The sudden increase/decrease of glucose levels after eating high GI foods saps your energy. “This is the ‘crappy’ feeling people describe after eating high GI foods,” says Marino. Here’s how to eat your fave winter foods without the guilt or weight gain.

Porridge
Porridge falls in the middle of the GI scale. Ordinarily, natural oats are good for you. They’re fibre-rich, high in vitamin B6 (which stimulates the production of serotonin) and helps absorbs toxins on a night out (think: a natural hangover cure). However as soon as you add full- fat milk, sugar, banana or raisins – bam: its GI increases and you’ll be wanting more in about half an hour. 
              
“Instead, add peaches, apricots, pear, cherries or plums (fresh or canned in natural juice) to lower its GI and fill you up,” says Marino. Toast fan? “Spread with strawberry jam which has a low GI,” she adds.

Pasta
Most pasta has a low GI, but it’s the additives that count. Tomato bases are your best bet. “Steer clear of cream sauces and swap with high GI rolls with sourdough bread (the lowest GI bread), which is great for dipping into sauces,” says Marino.

Pizza
Pizza has a medium GI, but you can lower it with small changes. Go for wholemeal bases instead of high GI white bread. “Also, toppings like tomato, capsicum, low-fat cheese, mushrooms and olives are low GI options, and add fresh herbs like basil or garlic,” says Marino. Go for thin bases and avoid cheese-filled crusts.

Potato
Here’s the thing: some foods that have a high GI are very nutritious (and vice versa). Potato is one of them. It’s a vegetable, but it’s at the top of the GI list. If you can’t resist a bowl of mash or a handful of hot chips, be savvy: “Sweet potato has a really low GI,” says Marino. (Try mashing it or baking home-made potato wedges).

Dessert
Ice cream and most cakes have a relatively low GI but contain “empty kilojoules” (loads of sugar with no nutritional benefits). Can’t resist a bowl of ice cream? Opt for a low-fat version and add peaches or berries. Chocolate is low GI (which does mean you can inhale a family block), but a few squares of antioxidant-rich dark chocolate with nuts will go a long way.

The Questions Answered V 10, September, 2008

Q: Fun things to do on a 1^st date:

 

A: On a first date there are lots of things that you can do. There are traditional things to do and non traditional things to do.

                       

One little word of advice, if I may, to all you people out there excitedly going out on a first date… ask yourself the question

‘Do I know this person well enough to know that I want to spend an extended period of time with them?’

Trust me before you even contemplate what you want to do on a first date it is a question You NEED to answer to yourself. Let me explain why, firstly if you have only met someone for a few minutes at a club or in a bar and they were under the influence of alcohol (not yet drunk that is) they probably seemed like a really fun person to you, they probably came across as very fun loving and free spirited etc…that’s because the Spirits were flowing baby! Or if you met the person at a party and really only spoke to them for a few minutes or in a big group of people then you really don’t know what they will be like one on one, do you?

 

Imagine that you have planned this amazing first date – you are going out to do some in door rock climbing then you have arranged for pre-dinner drinks at a great bar and booked a great restaurant for dinner.. you are all excited because this person really turns you on, you remember them from the first time you met them how fun they seemed at that party or at that club… and then the date arrives. This person is as boring as bat shit, they don’t talk much or they talk WAYYYY too much, they embarrass you wherever you go because they have no manners or they leave everything up to you with no input from them, or something goes wrong and that chemistry you thought you had is not there, you have no idea what to say to them and you are feeling awkward and its just not what you thought that date would be…and to top it off… you are doomed to spend the ENTIRE night with them because of the things you planned to do……. Nothing worse than trying to spend time with someone you feel you need to be 100kms away from at that very second….

 

So THINK before you promise BIG first dates… You should probably try just catching up for a drink after work or maybe a short coffee date on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon (ensuring you have something to do straight after so you cant stay too long) maybe 1 hour at the most. This way you can find out if you can stand to even be around the person, if all goes well then yeah sure you can stretch out but if you realise that you would rather stick your head in a toilet and flush than spend any more time with that person you ‘already had prior plans’.

 

But if you know this person and you are sure you do want to spend more time with this person and go on a great first date here are few suggestions:

 

For the outdoors people:

 

i)                    Indoor or outdoor rock climbing! – This is not only a fun date to be on (if you don’t care about been sweaty and wearing ugly clothes hehe) but it will show you a lot about that person; whether they are trustworthy, if they are good strategy skills, if they can think outside the box sorta speak. Its something out of the norm to do.

ii)                   Go on a kayak trip, if you are lucky enough (like me) to live near so many bodies or water be it ocean, river or lake, then you could go on a kayak trip – I love this one – its so much fun you can paddle down the river and stop off somewhere to have lunch or afternoon tea, you can tell if you can work as a team with that person, you will be alone with the gorgeous fresh air as you are keeping fit at the same time (which means you can eat whatever you want my best bit), you can talk about anything in private because not many people around you…

iii)                 You can have lunch and go on a speed boat ride out in the ocean. You might have a company in your city or area that does speed boat rides out in the ocean (one my other personal favourite things to do). You will probably need to take a towel and a change of clothes but you will have so much fun! We have one in our city and it’s the best fun, they take out on this big speed boat and do all sorts of tricks and speed boat jumps out in the ocean against the waves – man cant wait for summer! Will definitely be doing this one more regularly myself and doesn’t even have to be on a date.

iv)                 Go for a mountain trial bike ride or a mountain trail walk – again I love this type of stuff. Its so much fun you are together – out in the wonderful fresh air and in nature discovering new wineries along the way or take a picnic lunch and stop off at a great vantage point to over look the ocean or lake or city that kind of thing.

v)                  You could go on a camel ride, horse ride; donkey ride whatever is available in our area. They are normally quite fun.

 

For the indoors people:

 

i)                    Go on a wine tour – take one of those wine tours going from estate to estate tasting the wines

ii)                   Go on a beer tasting tour – same principle as above but its all about da beer

iii)                 Go on a food tour – companies that take you from restaurant to restaurant in your city meeting the chef’s of each place and each giving you an entrée size meal of their favourite dishes

iv)                 You could meet up for drinks at a cool nostalgic bar (we have one where its like 1960’s up class theme – quite exclusive you have to be over 25, you be elegantly/glamour dressed and they sell fun cocktails with cool music and sometimes go go dancers. Then off to may be Japanese restaurant with Tempenyaki (not sure if I spelt this right) dinner which is where you sit around the table and the Japanese chefs cook the food in front of you doing all sorts of nifty tricks for those around the table

v)                  Go to a Belly Dancing class then off a Turkish restaurant with belly dancer entertainers

vi)                 If there are any festivals going around maybe you could go to an event at the festival. Example: every year we have an international festival of Perth and for I think 2 months of the year and all over the city there are numerous varieties of performances and shows that go on (a lot of them free) they might have a play performance in a garden or there might be an African music band that has come over from Jo-burg performing on a stage by our river at night, that is usually soooooooo much fun and you can just be silly and dance to the cool music. (cant wait for this years!!!)

vii)               You could go to like a Chilli Festival something like that

viii)              Comedy nights at your local bar or if you have a famous comedian in town see if you can get tickets, go have dinner at a nice restaurant (note ‘nice’ does not mean pricey)

 

 

Q: Should I have sex on the first date?

 

A: Unless you are going to say “that will be $50 bucks thanks” at the end of it then NO! NO NO and NO!

Australia’s sad celebrity drought 9, September, 2008

Oh my gosh I don’t know about you but I am sick to death of tabloid magazines and news/media outlets that drench and drown you in the monotony of a particular chosen celebrity’s life.

 

In Australia it seems we have hardly any real A grade celebrities – in fact any that we do have do not even live in Australia anymore they all live in the US of A. So I think our tabloids and media outlets (who seem more tabloid than real news feeds) create this apparent-celebrities and can I tell you that it annoys the living *(&T out of me!? I try to listen and watch some news in the mornings because I like to keep up to date with what is happening. But it annoys me so much that you will be listening to a news piece in regards to a terrible Tornado ripping through Cuba and how 80 people have died and the very very next news piece they talk about is how they spotted some little known ‘celebrity’ swimmer out on the town enjoying a night out… ummm WHO CARES?! Omg! Who cares really??? I don’t care who she “got caught kissing” or “what she wore when she went to her mail box”… its so sad, its so pathetic … so I turn to another channel hoping there is other news and there it goes again “and our celebrity swimmer she was spotted getting out of a car isn’t she magnificent” “it seems our celebrity swimmer went shopping and bought a toothbrush” “ooohhhh celebrity swimmer blinks eyes… oooooo ahhhh” Headline news story…I respected this swimmer for how great of a swimmer she was during the Olympics… cannot take her skill and talent away from her… but come on…. Its not like she’s cured cancer!

 

Pplleeasee man! Then we have these dumb shows that (I stress I do NOT watch but do see advertised when watching a good show) have these apparent celebrities staring… I think the funniest example I can give you is this show called Dancing with the Stars and my sister called me over to see this ad because one “celebrity” was a guy who presented a kids show when we were like 10 years old (like over a decade ago) and has not been on TV since… and he is been called a celebrity… how desperate are we getting for celebrities?? Next thing you know anyone whos been on Australia’s most wanted or one some juice ad on TV will be a “celebrity”.

 

That’s it I gotta stop watching trash tv man ha-ha. I can totally understand why Elvis shot at his TV…. “ahhh dis show aint no good”

Dating in your Mid 20’s – Date, Bail or Bait! 4, September, 2008

There is this new show that has appeared on our Australian television screens (not sure about other countries) and it is called Taken Out. I had gotten the impression it was about finding out what women think of men, but it turns out its more about a dating game show.

 

The nominated guy comes out on stage they reveal one or two things about the man keeping the mystery…there are 30 (seemingly permanent) chicks who are on this panel looking at him and with a press of a button they will decide if they like what they see they stay in the game/competition and if they don’t they turn their light off to signify that they are not interested. They do one round and they guy may get 14/30 girls who are still interested. Round two involves seeing a small clip of the guy describing his personality his likes dislikes and the girls make the choice of whether to stay in or out. Then a final time they reveal slightly more about the guy whether good or bad (mostly the bad stuff) and see how many girls still choose to be interested. After this final round it becomes the guy’s choice to choose 3 girls to stay in the game that he might be interested in and finally narrows the choice to 1 he actually would like to take out on a date. They go on a date, and then do the classic Sex and City movie where they will rendezvous at a mutual location if they are both interested.

 

The show has all the classic signs of those old time shows like Perfect Match, Man Oh Man and in Latin America shows like 12 Corazones (12 Hearts). Girls check out the guy size him up if they like him or not and the guy has the final say if the girl gets him or not.

 

I have only recently started watching this show – namely 2 nights ago and it’s quite funny when observing these males and females. The cameramen do such great work to catch those little looks and telling signs on the men and women that say a thousand words about what they are thinking. This one young man was introduced, to me he looked about 20-21 (too young for me), and I didn’t find him particularly attractive but as they say its all in the eye of the beholder. Quite a few girls immediately turned off their lights (shallow girls!) They then revealed one more ….. virtue of this young man that seemed to raise the eyebrows of quite a few girls and made them have a slight little please grin… “he works in an industry where the average income is above $200 000 a year”… it was hilarious to see so many of those girls little ears prick up at the sound of CHING CHING BABYYYYY… then they revealed how he did not want any long term marriage plans or anything and few more dropped out (obviously a few girls are out for marriage – I cant talk I want a serious relationship) so good for them for knowing what they want. At the end only two girls remained. One girl seemed to be quite desperate enthused about all the young men presented before her that she was saying yes to all of them.. 

 

The next guy came on, different looking to the first…and when they revealed the industry this young man worked in… I found it even more hilarious how the sound of CHING CHING seemed to affect the same girls!! And yes of course the camera men did a great job of throwing shots to the same young ladies who were keen the previous guy at the sound of how much he made a year… their little faces became that much more smitten and flirty when the Moola began to talk… and what was even more funny was that the same two girls who were interested in the guy before were interested in this one too… and both kept making a lot of references to ‘oh I understand the industry he works in I would be able to understand the work regime’… how convenient!

 

I wonder how the show would work if it was the other way around a girl would have 30 guys who would all look at her and turn their lights on and off by simple looking at her… and then have her choose the guy she wants to go on a date with.

 

I do look forward to the next instalment seeing how all these men faire. The only thing that bothers me about this show that it seems the same girls stay the same on this panel and only the one that gets picked for a date is replaced. It still a pretty interesting show to watch – when you have nothing better to do with your time – clearly the last two nights I haven’t had anything better to do..

 

I wish I could host my own love show: (COPYRIGHT 04 September 2008 AND ALL RIGHTS RESERVED BY SUSI SPICE WHO IS THE OWNER OF THE OFFICIAL SUSI SPICE BLOG. 04 September 2008)

Date, Bail or Bait! With your host Susi Spice!

 

-It would feature 10 eligible (well interviewed and researched) men and women from wide ranging backgrounds eg 20-40 year olds, students – self employed entrepreneurs, short – really tall people, very thin to voluptuous people, endeavour that at least 50% of the contestants were of a different cultural background, varying personalities things like that.

 

 

-The premise of the show would be ‘fate decides’

-All 10 men and women would line up before each other and the host (plus a helper) would carry a fish bowl or something alike down each line and each contestant would pick out of the hat their date. So the women’s row would pick out randomly the men they would have a 5 minute speed date with.

-After their 5 min speed date each contestant could decide whether to:

A) ‘date’ = go on a proper date with their speed date

B) ‘bail’ = not go on a date with their randomly matched person  and not reconsider or be reconsidered

C) ‘bait’ =  not go on a date with their randomly matched person but yes allow to be matched again with another contestant (can only do this twice in the game).

 

Contestants would be replaced with new ones for each one that dates or bails so the pool would still remain 10 men and 10 women each night.

 

And their stories would the be told..

 

I think it would be fun! Hehe.

If your TV producer give me a yell and maybe we can work a deal out! hehe.

WA State Elections 2008 2, September, 2008

Ah the State elections are here again. It is almost an unnecessary evil I find at times. Now let me explain myself. I am glad that I am fortunate and very lucky to live in a country that is relatively stable, we do not have civil unrest, we are not in war with any other country, and by global average standards we have it pretty darn good. Of course there are things that could be better.

 

Our hospitals for one, we have ambulances waiting hours upon hours at the hospital emergency departments. Our ambulance paramedics and all nurses whether they be enrolled or registered are undervalued, over worked and unappreciated. They have been insulted by our state governments (both sides of spectrum) by denying them any kind of a reasonable pay rise. For example offering paramedics 58cents pay rise…. Utter nonsense and disgust. Not giving our nurses the type of pay rise that reflects their work ethic, the long arduous hours of dealing with sick people. No wonder they can be quite grumpy and unpleasant sometimes id be pretty sick of working in that kind of environment too. Our doctors are overworked; we do not have enough of them so our waiting lists for surgeries and specialists appointments are ridiculously long and so we are not getting the quality medical care we are paying so much tax towards. Our mental health hospitals are the worst anywhere, doctors, nurses and patients are all pretty much (insert inappropriate word here).

 

Our education system is in shambles. Last year there were many schools that were nearly left WITHOUT teachers at all. Teachers (of which we are crying out for because of a shortage) were threatened to be axed/fired/dismissed/de-registered for not paying a membership fee to a representative body that did not do a good job – not even a reasonable job of representing teachers. The last education minister  - well she was just a joke, introducing an educational framework and outcomes based assessment that encouraged and perpetrated the notion that its better to be rewarded for mediocrity and acceptable ‘that is close enough it’ll do’. I am not saying everyone has to be a brain surgeon but come on! If kids are not encouraged and rewarded for doing their absolute best what incentive is there? How will this type of educational system impact on future generations that are competing with the ever superseding and competitive China? Or Japan? We won’t stand a chance when our children are been told that it does not matter they do not know how to spell anything above a 5^th grade level.

 

We currently have an ‘economic boom’ – really? I don’t see it in the general public very much. Housing is unaffordable for most, and those that can afford it are up to the eye balls in debt and most people are barely getting by. Rental properties are in short supply and so rents are through the roof like never before, the rate of homelessness has increased dramatically, waitlist for public housing are up to 5-7 years and that’s if you’re considered a priority case (eg fleeing abusive relationship/sexual abuse etc). There is a lot of money flowing into the country but a hell of a lot more flowing out of it. I guess my simpleton way of thinking does not allow me to accept that if you have 3 sheep… you sell 2 of them to foreign owners so that for the duration of that sheep’s life they will sell you all the products that can possibly be extracted from those sheep (wool, meat, leather etc) back to you at an even more ridiculously inflated price and tell me that you made a good deal.

 

Why not keep say 2 of those sheep and YOU sell manufacture those products and sell them out at those ridiculously high prices? I understand that the cheap labour in Asia is what gives it the economic advantage but really, it’s only happened because we have allowed this new way of slavery to be imposed world wide. This does not only apply to Asia.

 

Now to the leaders of the two major parties; our current (by default) Premier Mr Alan Carpenter for the Labor Party, his background is journalism – which would make you perhaps think he would have exposed himself the realities of political promise and actual delivery of those promises. The reality had been It Doesn’t Happen 99% of the time. You would think he would have been more in touch with the public, public perception and opinion but he is far from that. I have been a Labor voter in the past predominantly however I am very disillusioned with the Australian Labor Party in Western Australia. Under Alan Carpenter things have not gotten much better. Things are OK but that’s about it. Now to the other side the Liberals, ohh myy goshhh we might as well have Homer Simpson lead the party because im sure he would come up with better things to begin with and Homer’s outcomes would probably at least be comprehensible. I mean Troy Buswell the recent ex-Liberal leader was caught out after sniffing a colleagues chair (a woman) after she had been sitting on it… I mean please!? I thought you got that out of your system when you were in highschool…in 8^th grade! Then the numerous Liberal scandals that followed, they are in an even worse state than the Labor party. Now the Libs have dug into their chewed up and spat out pulp barrel and pulled out good old Colin Barnett. Colin-couldn’t-fix-a-light –bulb-if-he-tried- Barnett is the Liberal leader for this election and it is now a battle of the twits. They were the ones that put all the wheels in motion that have led to the current state of Western Australian services. So who do we vote for?

I guess this time round my thoughts on the subject are those if since I am going to have to live under the leadership of one of these twits; I want someone in there that can at least bring some sort of sensibility, logic and rationality to parliament. Keep those bastards honest I say, I will be voting for the Greens this election hopefully they will win enough seats to hold some balance of power. I am voting Green because throughout their policies on all things from Aboriginal health and well being to Youth policies they provide an actual balanced view which concords with my own thoughts of getting the balance right. They may not get into power but if they hold the balance of power they can perhaps (if true to their word) be able to rein in the stupidities, inconsistencies and lavishness of the two major political parties. To read more on the greens go to http://www.wa.greens.org.au/