Ma’… Tha rains is ‘ere! tha rains is ‘ere! 22, May, 2009

The weatherman had been telling us all week “watch out for the rain tomorrow, forecast is for showers and a possible storm later”, all week it had been nothing but blue skies, sunshine lolliepops… so of course when I awoke to glorious sunshine, crispy morning and light wind, with barely a cloud in the sky I thought… “i don’t need an umbrella”

 Walking through the hospital (which is my short cut to work) I see some people with umbrellas and think “well, you guys are carrying it for nothing”.

 I had walked into the hospital seeing sunshine and when I got to the other end it was pouring cats and dogs and their water bowls. Couldn’t believe it! As I stood there I wondered if I could do the Homer Simpson thing put my foot out of one side of the hospital “sunshine”  the other foot out the other side “rain” “sunshine! Rain! Sunshine! Rain! Sunshine! Rain!”

 

What annoyed me the most were the selfish bastards who had umbrellas…

Yeah you, you know im talking about you!

I stood there in my dress, waiting for the rain to dissipate… while bastard after bastard walked past with their big huge beach umbrellas that could cover a small classroom of children underneath it… did anyone offer to walk me? NO! The only consolation I had was that because these people braved the strong ghastly winds and the rain they heads may have been dry but they entire bodies were getting soaked as they walked down the street… I waited for almost half an hour… but then I saw an opportunity to get out there… I did not get wet, I had a few sprinkles on me… and when I got to my building and approached the elevators… I saw one of those selfish bastards who had SEEN me stuck at the hospital without an umbrella waiting for it. Well Mr Level 5 IT nerd… seems like you have soaked wet shoes and soaked pants… and I don’t, and without an umbrella… he looked at me, gave me a forced kind of a smile while looking down at his soaked body…..hmmm me thinks… CHECK MATE… mate…

When Your Time is up… Your Time is Up… 5, May, 2009

When your time is up, your time is up…Im quite distressed, worried, anxious and shocked….. Woman’s Day gossip magazine has just devastated me…..

 “Oprah – Just Five Years to Live”

 This diagnosis comes from Dr David Demko, he quoted to the magazine

“Based on her current lifestyle and genetic risk factors, Oprah can only expect to live until she is 58 or 59 years old”

 The magazine article further continues –

“This shock diagnosis confirmed fears long-held by those close to Oprah, that she is far from the happy, healthy person she projects.According to Dr Demko, there are a number of positive and negative things that influence how long we live. While Oprah gains years for her charity work and spirituality, he says there are many areas she needs to address….she needs to slow down and bring more happiness into her life…”

 Dr Demko is not Oprah’s physician.

 http://womansday.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=279779

 Woah man this is serious stuff! Let me take some time to digest through this…

First preliminary thoughts

1)     If I were Oprah and I read that a Dr Demko diagnosed me with only having 5 years to live i too would be concerned. I mean with all my billions of dollars that I would generate yearly surely I could live for longer than that.

My own mother who is on nightly dialysis treatment as she has no function in both kidneys has lived beyond the time she was expected to… According to Dr Demko’s analysis though my mum too needs more happiness to live longer… Drs said she would only live for maybe 6 months but its now been almost a year and half and this promise has yet to be fulfilled…. With Oprah’s money and the vast resource of kidney’s she could access if she had kidney failure she could just buy one or two or four if she wanted to… that would add another 10-40 years to her life.

2)     This Dr Demko – I did indepth research into this man… PhD he did something no else has done… he has major cred here people… he is the inventor of the Death Calculator… http://www.demko.com/boom0525.htm

Well after you have edgumacated yourself and stop being such an illiteratey you might actually take into account Dr Demko’s credible diagnosis of you and Oprah! Thank you Dr Demko… I trust you as much as I trust Dr Nick….The knee bones connected to the… something..the something’s connected to my wrist watch….

I Dated a Coyote Part II 1, May, 2009

Last time you joined my little adventure I had just realised that the guy I was dating, Pablo, was a people smuggler. This explained their enormous wealth in this third world country (yes i know im not being politically correct but lets call a spade a spade shall we?).

 So yes, there I was in the car with a whole family of people smugglers. They were very nice to me, so I really wasn’t in a position to spout any kind of personal thoughts on that matter. I kept my mouth shut just smiled and appeared very impressed…. they were latino men and of course I had to stroke ego at that point, plus they were my ride home. A few minutes later Pablo’s dad turns to the driver and says, “do you see that car behind us? That Soarer?”

“Yes sir”

“Pablo, Jose, Ricardo that black soarer has been following us for the last 10 mins”

They turned to look and Ricardo (the dad’s brother) said “well we better get ready”

I had no idea what was going on, but I turned back to look and yup there was a black Soarer driving behind us. As I turned back to sit facing forward… a big black case was pulled out by Pablo’s dad… it looked like the type of case you get when you buy a set of hand held weights? You know the type… rectangular black hard casing and well padded and he pulls out these guns one for each passenger except me… do not ask me what type of guns they were but they were big hand held guns. Thick and black with silver on them…retrospectively they were really cool looking guns… but at the time my heart sunk, I sank into my seat keeping my head below the window level… and started praying.

 Pablo’s dad turned and said “ don’t worry Susi Spice you are my son’s girl nothing will happen to you we are looking after you now, you see” he continued to speak softer and had lost any inebriation he had, “The Americans have a little bit of money out for my head so I need to keep alert and protect myself”. The car pulled into a street, then another, as if trying to lose the black Soarer. The car was kept running while the lights were turned off and they waited to see if the black Soarer came for us…

Those were the most tense moments ive lived through in my life to this day…

After about 5 minutes no cars came our way at all. Cautiously they kept a look out as we drove home. About half way home they all relaxed, the guns were put away and I sat up… Pablo’s dad laughed about the incident and we all continued along our merry way. When we arrived at my house, Pablo decided to walk to me to the door and gave me a kiss good night (as if i could say no to him at that point!). Pablo’s dad, from the car, announced, “I like you very much for my son, you are a beautiful girl with a beautiful personality, I hope to see you here more often and hope you don’t escape us to Australia too soon!”

Needless to say I became VERY VERY VERY busy for the remainder of my stay in El Salvador and just unfortunately was caught up in so many family events and do’s that I never could go out with Pablo again.

Susi Spice is on Twitter! 9, April, 2009

Yo peeps, you know I hate following fads. I still refuse to read one line of the Twilight series or see the movie but I have, ala, given in to Twitter. Susispice on Twitter!!!!

now all i have to do is figure out how to use the dam thing

Another Bloody list for a Girl’s stupid wishlist for the perfect man 5, March, 2009

Ok, as little girls we are all read fairy tale stories about the beautiful princess and the handsome prince who live happily ever after.  Let me give you a little taste of what this life time time-line may look like:

 

Age 5 – little girl loves her Cinderella fairy story, where the handsome prince gives the beautiful Cinderella her glass slipper and they fall in love and live happily ever after. Girl starts to think: I want to marry a prince.

 

Age 10 – starts to have or already has experienced her first crush. She tells her best friend “i like Robbie, he is cute, he has nice brown eyes and nice hair”, her friend replies, “yeah but i like Tommy because he is taller and has blue eyes”… little girl thinks… hmmm i like nice eyes and nice hair… but she is right i want him to be taller too… Robbie is a bit too short…

 

Age 12 – little girls sleep over they tell each other who they have a crush on, little girls says “i like Tommy because he is tall, has nice eyes and nice hair” another friend says, “yeah but i like Matt because he is tall, has nice eyes, nice hair and he buys me a chocolate at every recess”. So the little girl thinks…. hmmm yes i do want that too…so i want a boy who is tall, has nice eyes, nice hair and buys me chocolates AND a bag of chips..just so my boy is better than Tracy’s…

 

Age 16 – Teenage girl has her first party to go to and she admits to her friend Lucy that she likes Alex because he is tall, has nice eyes, nice hair, buys her lunch every day at school. Lucy replies, “yeah he is nice but i like James better because he is tall, has nice eyes, nice hair, buys me lunch everyday and buys me flowers too!” so teenage girls starts to think..hmmm i am missing out here! I want that too! So she starts to list the things she wants;

Tall, nice eyes, nice hair, buys her lunch everyday, is romantic buys her flowers and drives a car and is the hottest looking guy in school, and has to cool, definitely not a dork, cant wear glasses, has to have spikey hair, oh and muscles definitely muscles, he cant have a high voice, he has to be on the basketball or football team, and smell nice, and take her to the movies, and spend lots of time with her, and take her to the graduation dance, and …

 

Fast forward a few years

 

Age 24 – Young woman admits to her girlfriends she cannot  find a good man because they are all losers. Why is it so hard to find a man who:

Drives a nice car, has a great job, a doctor maybe, has great hair, great teeth, has a great body, great abs, great ass, has money, who buys her dinners, who buys her presents, who is an executive at a big company, who takes her on overseas vacations, who buys her flowers, who has a nice a voice, has a great laugh, who has good posture, who has nice hands, who has great veins, who’s toes aren’t too big, who’s toes aren’t too small, who has big hands but not too big, who has a good sense of humor, who is serious when it needs to be, who is a gentlemen and opens doors, who isn’t s exist, who is sensitive, who isn’t a wuss, who is great in bed, who has a big penis, who hasn’t got a small penis, and is kind, generous, loving, stands up for himself, who looks after her, who wont smother her, and he isn’t jealous, and he isn’t possessive, and he doesn’t drink heavily, who goes to church, who is freaky in bed, and has broad shoulders, cant have a receeding hairline, cant be hairy, and has great legs, no ugly feet, and wont cheat, who is devoted to her… etc etc etc etc

 

Well we are dumb aren’t we? We make lists that could circle the earth ten times over its circumference. Now to add to the stupid lists a scientific studies has brought out the following article:

 

Finger size link to earning power

 

WHAT THE !????

 

The length of a man’s fingers may predict his success in the City, research findings suggest.

Scientists at Cambridge University found that financial traders whose ring fingers are longer than their index fingers make the most money.

The link could be down to testosterone exposure in the womb, Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences says.

This exposure may improve rapid decision-making skills and has been linked with aggression.

The same ring-to-index finger ratio, which is determined in the womb, has previously been associated with success in competitive sports.

Researcher John Coates and his team reported last year that testosterone seemed to boost short term success at finance after they found City traders with higher levels of the male hormone in the morning were more likely to make an unusually big profit that day.

Aggression hormone

Their latest findings are based on a study of 44 men working as traders in London, some of whom earned more than £4 million a year.

Over 20 months those traders with longer ring fingers made 11 times more money than those with the shortest ring fingers relative to their index fingers.

This “biological” impact on success was about equal to years of experience at the job. The most experienced traders made about nine times more than the least experienced ones.

When the researchers looked only at the experienced traders, those with longer ring fingers earned far more than those with shorter ring fingers – £838,000 compared to £154,000 on average, respectively.

The scientists believe that exposure to the “aggression” hormone testosterone in the womb may have improved the traders’ concentration and honed reflexes necessary to follow prices and make trades on extremely short notice.

This suggests that success on the financial markets is influenced by biology as much as experience, the researchers told PNAS.

Meanwhile, Belgian researchers have found men with longer ring fingers become less “socially minded” – less willing to give money to a fellow participant – after watching aggressive movies.

The reverse was also true – those with shorter ring fingers gave away the most money.

Lead researcher Kobe Millet said: “These results tell us that levels of testosterone people are exposed to before birth go on to affect their behaviour throughout their lives.”

He said studies suggested similar associations with finger length are also seen in women.

 

 

So now you know guys… now you are aware of another (stupid) little thing some women will be looking for in you when you are out on date…the size of your fingers… no longer will women just ask to have an STD (sexual transmitted disease) test they will ask your doctor to also test for this aggression hormone….

 

Next time you are out on a date and the woman lovingly takes your hand in hers..stroking it gently…oddly isolating your ring finger and studying it closely…. she is not thinking about marriage..she is thinking about this article… she is wondering… how much money are you able to really earn… and will that make you more attractive to her…

 

There is not just the ring finger theory. For decades, perhaps generations, there is also the Toe Theory. There are varying versions on the Toe Theory. Version one says that if your second toe is bigger than your big toe then you are more likely to be aggressive and dominant in relationships, version two says that if your second toe is bigger than your big toe then you are more likely to be unfaithful in relationships…hmmmmmmmmmm

 

So there is possibly an evolutionary and scientific excuse for cheating ??

 

“sorry baby, but you knew this would happen, you knew from the first time you saw my toes that i was more likely to cheat..not my fault… its the toes fault”

 

Im sorry men, good luck though!

 

This story just made me have enough! Enough! Lists why do we have them? Just so that when we meet a guy we are disappointed because they have a small penis no bigger erect than the width of our small palm??? To be disappointed because they don’t have the best job in the world!?? To be disappointed because they have more issues than Britney spears and Micheal Jackson put together!????

 

Sigh…

 

Ill breathe now…

 

I think ill just go back to my manbattical… its nice there….

Bliss and Happiness come from acceptance and circumstance or ignorance? 3, March, 2009

Arabian Princess wrote a post on whether Ignorance is Bliss. I thought about it over the last couple days and there is an answer. The answer is yes and no. Ignorance can be bliss and it cannot be bliss. Take for instance my current dating scenario. I am dating Aaron, he seems to be very blissful and content in what he and I are presently having because he is blissfully ignorant of whom I am and how I am feeling. He is ignorant of even my last name, he is still to ask me that question, he is so blissful that he even talked about having babies together last night….. I on the other hand am not ignorant of his baggage and i am not ignorant that he has built me up into this ideal woman that seems to now sit on a pedestal yet, and i repeat, he does not know my last name…. i have not mentioned it because i thought it would be entertaining to see how long it takes for him to realise this. I am not happy, I am not blissful.  

 

In my travels overseas, particularly, to developing countries like El Salvador, Guatemala places like that; there are so many people that satisfy the definition of being ignorant.

 

Ignorant:         lacking in knowledge or training, lacking in knowledge or training of a particular subject or fact.

 

There are people all over the world who, due to their countries status, or their familial status were never able to receive any education. They are truly ignorant; they do not know how to read and write they do not know arithmetics or how to even use a computer. Now to suggest that Ignorance is bliss can be misleading. If ignorance is bliss then immigration wouldn’t be a defining political agenda during elections in countries such as the USA. All those Mexicans, Hondurans, Salvadorians and all the rest of the millions of latinos wouldn’t try to go over the border illegally. Some would argue, “but hang on they aren’t ignorant because they know what they don’t have and want a better life”. My point is that it is not whether one is ignorant or not but more of circumstance and acceptance of your circumstances that makes you blissful or happy.

 

I have met plenty of people in my travels in latin America and the interesting lesson is that, acceptance of circumstance. There were people who were dirt poor and did not know how to read or write but they knew that they want more, they didn’t want to work in the corn fields anymore, they didn’t want to be house maids anymore and were willing to risk their life and their families life savings to pay ‘coyotes’ aka people smugglers to take them to the USA which, to them, seems the land flowing of milk and honey.  They were not happy in their respective countries, they were not blissful. They want more, they crave more, they want the “good things in life”.

 

Then I met a few older people who had been there and done that. I met people who had in their youth risked life and limb to reach that promised land and after being there for a long time, saved up some money, returned to their home land and found what they describe as happiness. This bliss I understand. The bliss of knowing how bad it can be, and appreciating the little have and finding happiness.

 

I can relate. I was lucky enough in being raised here in Australia. My parents were legal residents upon arrival in Australia so we had all the benefits of residency and soon thereafter, citizenship. I live in a country where I have good health care, I have a job (thank God) that allows me to survive, where there is no war, where I am relatively free. My financial struggles are just like most other peoples in this country given the financial crisis situation in the world, I have other pressures that add on to that so i look for peace. When i have travelled back to El Salvador, i have felt at peace. I have felt content. I have felt home. This is not just purely psychological, but it is assisted by the fact that when i have travelled back there I have no financial struggles. I bring with me sufficient funds to allow me to live a blissful life. I have good health so i am not concerned with healthcare when in El Salvador, I have a house there that is mine that i can stay at and i have my family who always welcome me with open arms so i never have to worry about accommodation. Food according to my Australian standard of living is quite cheap even with the use of the US dollar there, so i don’t worry about food. Clothes are cheap enough that I can shop and not worry about cost. I have lots of family and friends there with whom to share good times with, and travelling within Latin America is cheap in relative terms. So the circumstance I find myself in when in El Salvador with my sufficient amount of money is that all my necessary bases are covered. I have shelter, i have food, i have clothing, i have companionship. Of course when i am there i feel like i don’t need anything, i feel blissful, happy and content.

 

I have a 3^rd cousin whose grandparents from his mother’s side are the sweetest and wisest old people. And after considering the question of ‘is ignorance bliss’ i remembered a lunch i had with them not long before i left El Salvador. They were not rich, infact they lived in a tiny little house on a 3 acre property that they had worked on their whole life. The grandmother was 84 years old and the grandfather was 92 years old. They had lived and raised their family on that property since they were married. They had water, food, shelter and family. The grandmother i remember said to me, ‘susi, you live in such a country that has everything anyone could want but i bet everyone is unhappy. The more you want the more you realise you don’t have. Greed causes so much unhappiness…. you want more soup? Have more soup.. its good chicken soup i made it myself” and she then went on to a tangent that i don’t remember now haha but upon reflection I am beginning to understand where my feelings of unhappiness come from and am appreciating, thanks to Arabian Princess’ post, of what i need to do to get over these feelings of unhappiness and discontent for my life.

 

I need to stop being greedy. I turned to the Bible for some guidance the other night, i said a prayer before hand because i just felt like i needed to connect with God to bring some peace into my heart. I was feeling a little down about things. I was feeling down about being single at 27 – still, watching most of my ex boyfriends go on to get married before me, about not getting that promotion at work, having 80% care for my mum, dealing with my mothers illness, feeling guilt about her situation, (not winning that $15million powerball lotto hahha) and a couple other things.

 

I said to God, why am i being put through so much? Why did those incidents occur when i was 4years old? Why did i have to be the stopper between my parents fights all my life? Why did have to be the one to take charge of the family so early on? why did you let all of this happen? Is it that whole saying that God only gives you what you can handle? Is that why my life has gone this way? That i survived so much from such a young age and kept strong and just kept going without it taking over my life? Is that why You sometimes may forget me? Susi Spice can handle it, she will be right. I know You have the Victorian fire victims to deal with, you have African children and people starving and dying in wars, You have Iraq, Israel and Palestine to deal with but I ask you Jesus, when You take a 5 second breather from all that, if You could please just spare a split nano-second for me and fix my little life I promise you wont have to worry about me anymore…think of it this way, I am an easy case to fix, you know the things I need and have asked for so really there are only 3 things… just give me a wink and fix it and ill be out of you hair! I will be able to do more work on your behalf and never leave your side (not that i would anyway) but it would allow me to dedicate even more time to your works. so how bout it?

 

When i turned to the Bible and opened up a random page, the one that came up was about how to ask for things and the promise that God will give you what you ask if you ask with faith and certainty. So I am asking with faith and certainty that things i am asking for will be done.

 

I need to be be happy with what i have now and everything will fall into place. Just keep going, keep striving and know that things will work out just fine.

 

So we all know where i will be living if i win lotto one day haha.

A note to The One made for me 26, January, 2009

Just thought id let you know, I am here patiently waiting for you.

Just thought id let you know that I cannot wait to see you and be with you.

I ask God each night to look after you, bless you, to give you good health and happiness for you and your family.

I ask God that since it is a little too hard for me to travel right now that if you live far away from me that you are brought to me here at least for now…

Just thought id let you know that my heart is already yours for always.

I may appear a little shy at first meeting, but don’t think bad of me for that, bare with me and ill show you all of me that is yours.

I wont hurt you and I will always stick by you.

I am ready for you.

I hope you are ready for me.

The Great Crush 17, January, 2009

Ok so as you all know my search for my wonderful, gifted, amazing future husband is still going. In the mean time I had developed a crush on one of the lead singers at church.

Rob, he looks about 30 or mid 30s, talented, cute, tall, could sing and best of all Christian… what more could I really ask for? (Without getting greedy hehe). So yeah Rob – and as all good women do I checked for a wedding band…no wedding band… so far so good.. I thought cool that means he is still free game… I have only been going to this particular church for maybe 3 months and don’t really know anyone. Well today I found out a little more information on Rob.

3 kids

With a partner

And 40!!!!! He does NOT look 40!!

Ladies PLEASEEE put a ring on your husband’s finger!

So tonight my new crush has been crushed…Back to the drawing board haha.

It reminded me of this comedian Kerri Pomarolli..hilarious… this clip I have included here is hilarious because its so true!

Another day, another sunrise and another smile 29, December, 2008

Mum (mom for those North Americans) collapsed on the floor in the kitchen yesterday. We had been sitting in the lounge together watching the news; she had complained that she didn’t feel very well. I got her some water and told her to just lay down for a bit until her dizziness went away. I closed my eyes for a second and didn’t even notice she had gotten up. I heard some moaning from the kitchen and I just ignored it because I am so used to her always moaning when she feels unwell…. I know it sounds harsh but I will explain… then suddenly she screamed and her body hit the floor… I yelled out “mum!” and my sister ran out from her room and we both started to do first aid on her as she lay on the floor faced down. She had bitten her bottom so she was bleeding a little. She kept saying “im so sorry for putting you girls through this, im sorry that ive ruined your life so young by having to look after me, I feel like im dying slowly inside so please forgive me for not been the healthy mother you should have had”.

I kept telling her it would be ok, that she was fine,  we took her BSL and her Blood Pressure they were both fine so we are unsure what caused her to collapse. We picked her up and laid her on the day bed in the lounge, gave her a little more water and calmed her down.  My sister went back to bed as she had a shift at the hospital later (lucky she is a nurse).  I stayed with mum all day and all night until she fell asleep.

I feel a little guilty and I feel bad that my reaction probably doesn’t seem normal to some people. Mum has been ill, critically ill, since last December. So for 12 months now I have lived a life of constant alertness. We have been to the brink [of death] and back with her for 12 months now it has become almost routine and so our reaction isn’t as “over the top” I guess is one way to put it. I do worry when she gets bad but im not so worried that my first reaction is to stress you know what I mean? Ive just seen her get to the point of appearing like she is dying and then she doesn’t that its just almost part of the daily routine sorta speak.

I spent most of the earlier part of this year not sleeping due to looking after mum and been alert and concerned about her health. We finally fell into a routine of her daily treatment and its part of life now that it doesn’t seem to bother me too much. My sister still cant really handle what happened I think, she cant handle the routine and the life so she will be moving out early 2009 that means that most of the care my mum requires will fall on me, but I am not scared Ive kinda been doing it all along anyway.  Finally since around November of this year I finally started feeling like I needed to get my life back and started to go out a lot more and enjoying my time. Mum does encourage me to go out and enjoy my life.

Its funny though that generally most people who go out do not worry about a family member been at home and in the back of their mind aren’t always thinking “I hope they are ok”. Whenever I go to work, when I go out with my friends, when I go out shopping without her, when I am just hanging out with friends, even when I go to sleep the truthful honest fact and question that I have to live with every day is “will I find her alive when I wake up or when I get home?”.

But she has survived another year which has surprised everyone. I am glad though. As much as I would like for her to be around longer, I know how much she suffers and she herself has had to sacrifice; her job, some of her hobbies, so many things that mostly can be summarized as her independence. For as long as I remember my mum has always been fiercely independent no matter what and for her to have lost that has been very hard for her. And that is painful to see. I encourage her independence a lot now, I did wrap her up in cotton wool at first but I had to learn to let go, trust that God will take care of anything and no matter she will be ok with us or with Him. So here is to another new year, all I ask is for Strength, wisdom and love to endure whatever comes this new year, to know how to handle all the situations that arise and that no matter what is going on love is abundant in my life; through my family, friends and yeah my selfish indulgence and wish is to find the one that is meant for me after all, life is beautiful no matter what happens and its great to share it with those you love.

#1 – Stop Being Afraid 29, December, 2008

 I think im afraid..very afraid…

I know plenty of guys, I meet guys at parties and get-togethers, I talk to guys who talk to me when out and about who strike up a conversation with me (they are not necessarily trying to pick me up its just chit-chat that happens). I am not necessarily scared to talk to men or be friends with them…. No one, NO ONE that ever meets or knows me believes me when I confess that with guys i am attracted to that I am shy, because im not shy to talk to people, im confident when talking to new people. In my job as a mediator I deal with CEOs and Company Directors and their lawyers etc one to one on a daily basis, i have no problem with social interractions of any kind….. But I realized today that I am a big woos and scaredy cat… I am afraid of been hurt by the next guy I go out with and fall for. I know I shouldn’t be afraid, I believe in showing love no matter what, I know what everyone tells me – that I shouldn’t be afraid, I know all the clichés that go with that. 

But still I am scared, I am afraid. I am afraid because I know that I will love again just like I have before and im afraid of being hurt again… all I want is the right one that will know me (get to know me) and see the good there is in me and appreciate it, see how my close friends and family see me, know me how I know me and see that I am a great person inside and out and love me like I deserve and love me the way I will love him. but i wont rant on.

I am hopeful and positive that it will happen.  Maybe I am just PSM-ing and im getting all emotional for nothing hehe.

I must keep trusting, keep living the social butterfly life I have been living, and one day it will happen. In the mean time that little fortune cookie that assures me the right one for me is just around the corner better be right…. I just have to stop been so afraid.

 

Patiently waiting for my fortune cookie to come true..

 

24, December, 2008

 

Christmas is here!

 

Well, today is the day the teddy bears have their picccnniicc…oh wait hang on wrong song… Jingle Bells Jingle bells…thats the one..

 

Today is Christmas Eve. It will be a little special to me because I have my mum (mom) with me this year. This time last year I was preparing to lose her and, as morbid as it might sound, I was making preparations for a funeral…. however… thank God with the help of the doctors and a health system in Australia that isn’t completely defunct, she has managed to live and smile for another year.

 

 

 

 

I came into work early today, 7.10 am because it is Christmas Eve and I want to leave early and go into battle to do some last minute shopping before Christmas at IKEA…yes I am going into the gauntlet that will be IKEA. Am I going to do last minute Christmas Shopping you may ask? No. I am going to buy ME presents… I have been waiting for 3 months for new shipments of this storage contraption I seem to be fixated with want and its supposed to have come in this week. I have my IKEA bag with me in case I accidently put some other stuff I might accidently like and accidently knock it into the bag for purchase. After all as they say prevention is better than the cure so by taking my IKEA bag it is preventing me from knocking things on the floor that might have accidently caught my eye and accidently got caught in my hands …you get my drift…

 

Tomorrow’s plan?

Sleep in.

Go to Christmas service at church in the morning

Cook Christmas dinner with all the trimmings

Watch my favourite Christmas movies/cartoons that are on the box

Make my Christmas presents (yes people are getting Christmas presents from me Home Made and oh so delicious! You will see Arabian Princess they are coming! )

Enjoy the day with the family.

 

So Merry Christmas to everyone, God Bless!!!!! I really hope that Santa brings you all the pressies you want and that God brings you all the love, happiness, joy and fun you deserve. Drink be merry and make a stranger smile while you are out, you never know how much they might appreciate it! As Maya Angelous said (and I paraphrase), “words themselves are intangible, but their intent seeps into the clothes you wear, your skin, your hair until it reaches inside you and touches your heart”.

 

‘First Comes the Marriage’ my review and experiment 23, October, 2008

A little while ago I wrote a brief note about how I felt about my friend Peter. Well the other day I went on this coffee date with a different guy and on my party it resulted in my feeling of just been friends with the coffee date. Last night I was on msn chatting with my friend Peter and he was asking me what I had been up to. For some reason he has an uncanny sense when i am hiding things from him…(I’m not a great liar haha)  I had told him ‘’haven’t been up to much, went out for coffee with a friend and  just working’’…

so he replies ‘’coffee with a friend huh? Just a friend?’’

me: ‘’yup so how are you?’’

him: ‘’im good, so was this a date?’’

me: *thinking i prob shouldn’t say anything i don’t want to maybe ruin anything* ‘’oh stop it, it was just coffee’’

him: ‘’hehe right’’

me: ‘’wat? Wat is so funny?’’

him: ‘’ nothing i felt like saying hehe. so did you like this guy? Come on don’t lie to me i know it was a date’’

me: ‘’ok, fine, yes it was but nothing came of it, it aint happening’’

him: ‘’ yeh ok…’’

 

and i know it doesn’t seem much but in the context of how we communicate normally he would always sign off with winks and kisses and always been out right flirty…but that conversation he ended it with just a simple ‘’night’’ and that was it. I could sense he just kinda changed  a bit… it prob means nothing i suppose i could be reading way too much into things i know that its me that is clear on my attraction but I have no idea if it works both ways… oh well….. cant do or say anything about it because there is nothing there to talk about really… anyway i was been introspective today thinking about how I am and my life things like that.. i decided to not focus on stuff and go on to read the daily news…

 

Found an interesting opinion regarding a new book that is out called ‘’First Comes Marriage’’ by Reva Seth. She is from Toronto and apparently completed some research on over 300 south Asian women who voluntarily spoke about their ‘arranged marriages’ and the virtues of this type of marriage. Reva seeks to propose that women think about marriage in a different light other than the Hollywood spectacle and the serendipitous fairy tales that have indoctrinated many women in a way (including myself) into the ultimate belief that there is one person out there that you will know is ‘’The One’’ that this love will be all enduring, long lasting and mutually committed. This practice of finding a suitable life partner through a form of filtering system or selection criteria is also adopted in many Arabian countries. I have seen it occur in practice with friends I have whereby the family is heavily involved in trying to find the best possible ‘’match’’ for that person. The marriage subject is to procure an itemised list of wants in a partner that they believe will ensure a workable long last marriage union. The more specific the better. Everything from looks to financial position, personality, tastes, likes and dislikes, career, everything. The family sets off on a quest to find the person that matches what they believe is suitable for their loved one. If one is found to be suitable then the process of making the union official proceeds. None of this dating for years and living together. If both parties match in all aspects then this is who your life partner will be. This is who you will cultivate your love with, this is who you will have children with and this is who you will marry and be content with.

 

There are pros and cons to this approach. I can totally appreciate and see the benefits of such a process, screw dating all those frogs, screw going through guy after guy just meeting guys who only disappoint you, there is no need for heart break after finding out the person who were totally in love with turns out to be the one who hurts you the most.  You outline your prerequisites and with the help of enthusiastic and determined family members, relatives and friends, it is found for you. Reva endeavours to suggest that it is not necessarily promoting this way of finding Mr Right to be the true right way, all she seeks to do is motivate a different way of looking at the traditional western way of partner seeking.

 

My biggest problem with following through on all this and the method used in South Asian and Arabian cultures is that it leaves me with great sadness and heaviness in my heart that all the hope of meeting someone that will love you with all their heart and that you will love and see them in that same way is taken away… Reva argues on this point saying that it can still happen and usually does, it is just that it is not necessarily in existence at the time of the marriage ceremony. That love is something that will grow with time. That the mere fact this person fulfils all your prerequisites can almost provide greater odds of longer contentment in married life because there is more to marriage than just love.

 

One of the limitations of this book is that it does focus on a small tiny sample of 300 women. I mean look at the population of Indonesia alone, 300 women who profess happy in arranged marriages is actually not even statistically significant enough to warrant the opinion that it works. Yes the divorce rate for people in arranged marriages is low, 4-5 % or less in comparison with figures such as approx 40% for UK, approx 40% for the USA and approx 41% for Australia (2007 Bureau of statistics figures). The 4-5% however, does not necessarily take into account factors such as women stuck in abusive marriages without any means or ways out. In many countries this right is either nonexistent, deeply frown upon or made so impossible that women have no options but to stay put. So in that respect I’m not sure how valid pulling out statistics is.

 

So for the sake of playing along with this theory I will create a list as per the women in the book do of the characteristics, traits, physical aspects, employment aspects, family status, education, likes and dislikes. I have never truly done this before and am doing this at the risk of been totally blemished with been one of those list women. I am doing it as part of research purely. I will do my best to come up with the best list. For this list, i think that we need to establish the purpose and hypothesis of this experiment, the limitations of this experiment, and then begin to construct the list with the nominated categories.

 

What is the purpose of my experiment? After much deliberation I think that the purpose I for this experiment for me will be to discover what is it that I ‘’think’’ is good for me, what I ‘’believe’’ are the characteristics I want in a life partner, and what are the things I ‘’think’’  will make a lifelong marriage for me. Once these are established to use these in my life for the next few months to see if there is any difference in attracting guys.

 

What is the hypothesis of my experiment?  (Have decided to be positive about this). I believe that the resultant from this experiment is that I will be clearer on what I want in a life partner. That there will have been some advanced progress in terms of knowing who I am and what I can offer them and allowed myself meet more guys and go no more dates than I have in the last 12 months.

 

What limitations of the experiment? The limitations of this experiment: 1) my own shyness 2) My life is generally very busy and do not tend to go out to pubs, bars or do a lot of entertainment things too often but will need to make great efforts to expose myself out there more 3) I do not have family that will actively go out seeking my wish list 4) I only have perhaps 3 friends at the most that will be supportive in attempting to look for guys that match my list and be supportive of my experiment.

 

THE LIST:

 

 Category 1: PHYSICAL

 

·        5’10 to 6’ tall

·        Fit preferably – I do not need bulging muscles or a perfectly sculptured body in fact im not a big fan of that, too hard muscles = painful hugs. I don’t mind a little belly but would prefer a nice built healthy looking guy. I don’t mind thin either but yes like fit with a relatively nice firm build.

·        Not hairy – cant do chubakkas

·        Eye colour and hair colour no preference

·        No webbed hands or feet

·        Not bald/balding preferably but wont discriminate

·        No ugly toes like giant tomato shaped big toes or weird big-toe-looking thumbs

·        No skin conditions like cold sores or contagious skin ailments or warts

·        Nice teeth

(man this was hard to think of haha…. not sure if i need to consider other things.. ill try if not ill move on to the next category)

·        How could i almost forget… no cankles (you know what i mean – there are people who have no defined ankles or calves and it just becomes one big cankle)

·        No loss of limbs

·        (you will all laugh at me) but I prefer circumcised

·        Someone that I find attractive and that he finds me attractive – i don’t care if other people think so or not

 

Category 2: ETHNICITY

 

No real specifics in this category but would ideally really like:

 

·        Latino guy but one that has grown up in an English speaking/western country and understands both cultures and  embraces new cultures or

·        Half latin half western guy who understands both cultures and embraces new ones or

·        Western guy whether of a different cultural/ethnic background who can appreciate, love and embrace their own and new cultures

 

Category 3: EDUCATION

 

·        University educated preferable

·        College education – someone that is able to communicate well with people of all levels

 

Category 4: RELIGION

 

·        Christian preferred – but not a fundamentalist, not exclusionary, not discriminatory based on religion or faiths, not close minded

 

Category 5: PERSONALITY

 

(this has been a hard exercise people… i can tell you that writing the above 4 categories has taken me a good 2 hours to really allow myself to think specifics, this category may have things missing in the end but I just wanna get this list over and done with man! I am not enjoying been so specific… because its hard to know or to assume things.. arrghhh why am i bothering!?? Ok ok…. i said id do it so lets get it done)

 

·        Loving person – is able to demonstrate love, care and appreciation whether in public or in private. Not afraid to show affection.

·        Trustworthy – Someone that truly is honest with their feelings, promises. Does not cheat or back stab that kind of thing.

·        Respectful – Able to respect his own family, parents as this, to me, demonstrates that he will respect me and my family as I would do him and his family. Respectful as a husband and not abusive in anyway shape or form.

·        Caring person – Is able to empathise with people’s situations and willing to help wherever possible.

·        Strong family orientated – Someone that values family; their own, mine (and ours one day) who will be a strong responsible positive husband, father and role model. This is really what I admire and is a huge turn on.

·        Hardworking – A man that no matter what he chooses to do as a career whether run a business or work for a company will be hard working enough to ensure his family is well looked after and supported (as will I)

·        Calm and positively spirited – someone that does not fire up at a drop of a hat or that one has to walk on eggshells around them permanently. I really hate it when people are always angry and grumpy and negative, that you never know whether just by asking something like ‘’have you seen my keys’’ they automatically go into attacking mode and get angry at you for losing them or answer you with anger.

·        Patient – I like patient people big turn on and i really respect it and cherish this.

·        Appreciates the outdoors – someone that loves been out at the beach or on a bush walk into the mountains, or like the off the beaten track type activities, the water, the earth, likes been out in the environment.

·        Fun – eg someone that enjoys my company and I enjoy theirs even if we are just sitting at home with pizza talking about nothing or sharing dumb jokes or out on the river kayaking or travelling

·        Appreciates travel – someone I can travel with all over the world (im a passionate and avid traveller) and appreciates, understands and respects different cultures

·        Good conversationalist – someone that can go from expanding my mind and taking me to new realms and that will listen to me and allow me to do the same for him to just having a good old time laughing and joking around about our favourite tv shows

·        appreciates friendships

·        Someone who won’t think it weird that I love kid shows or cartoon series like Family Guy and Simpsons hehe would be great if he loved the same

 

(im trying to think of other stuff because the whole point of this is to be really specific… ok.. right now cant think of any more stuff…. so I will leave it here)

 

Ok well the list is complete or at least i think the list is complete… now to print it out and give it to the friends I think will be willing to string along with me on my whimsical experiment… lets see if any of this works out at all for me…

Dating in your mid 20’s – Whats up with us girls? 26, August, 2008

I have been thinking that perhaps my postings have been a little one sided. I mean I discuss a lot of things from a female perspective and that is great and all however, given the person I am, I also have been playing devils advocate against a few things ive been posting. So ive decided to explore a few of these points. I want to explore and see if there are any men out there who can provide any feedback on what I write, whether you agree or don’t agree.

 

Well the first thing coming to my mind is the most recent issue, both I and my best friend Arabian princess (see blogroll), have by a bizarre reason experienced lately, that is Push Pull men. Now my aim here is to explore and question whether it really is all on men’s side… I am questioning whether we as women are doing or not doing things that contribute to this behaviour. I am not seeking to give these men any excuses or reasons for such behaviour but to look at myself and see if maybe I am also guilty of a behaviour that condones push pull theorem or somehow inadvertently I have endorsed it or perpetuated it.  

 

Now push pull men as ive said before its like they try to pull you in whenever they want they push away when they want (or so it seems). Looking at it from an outside perspective… lets examine my behaviour…before the push pulling began with Mike, I had been very attentive, it just so happened that whenever he called I would always answer, he wrote me an email I would reply back straight away the day he sent it, he would send me an SMS (text message) on my mobile and I would reply immediately… so to me though I felt I was responding straight away because it was only courteous to do so. To me, it is courteous to reply to anyone as soon as you can. However was this behaviour wrong? Do our behaviours get interpreted differently in a man’s mind? Is it the idea that we are too available and therefore guys think, well she is a shoe-in and it gets boring? Whereas women, I think, a lot of the time its about been demonstrative of our feelings and showing through action that we want you guys, we want to be with you, we love talking to you etc… but men see it as ‘this is just too easy of a catch’ and then get spurned on by the challenge of the unattainable? I generally always say that I do not like playing games, but this push pull thing becomes a game. It becomes a game of cat and mouse or a chase and catch game like Peppy- Le Piu and his feline love interests. I pulled away from Mike because I felt there was no point been there, so did he suddenly get an urge and become Peppy Le Piu and decided that he now must have me because he knew he had me before and there was no way that I would be leaving him? Well just like the feline love interests of Peppy Le Piu I keep running now because it got too much man!

 

Now there is another very popular concept that women are too picky. That we women want too much we ask for too much. Maybe men have this also where we all have ideals of what we want a partner to be, we have checklists and requirements and prerequisites; we have “must have” and “would nice to have” and “no way” criterions. I was talking with my friends over this topic and I proposed to them that maybe we have become the generations of too much want. In marketing there is the concept that too much choice is actually a bad thing. Has giving people (men and women) too much choice becomes a bad thing when it comes to finding a partner? Has ambition got the better of us? Is this why we have so many failed relationships and marriages? I will outline the conversation that Arabian princess and I had the other day over this very topic. We were taking the devils advocate approach and comparing including culturally comparing the mores of societies both east meets west type stuff. Now what I am about to tell you may seem like a bad thing but its not… technically it is sociology. With my friends we often like to sit at cafes chat about everything and anything and on the odd occasion we do find ourselves seeing couples and think to yourself, “how does that work?”.. Now we accept that ‘every pot has its lid’ (as Arabian princess puts it) and that I think there is a special person for everyone. I remember a friend of ours once commenting “im glad that women took him out of the genetic gene pool because he is totally wrong, just wrong” Now this friend said that and my reply to her was “yes but its plain and simple beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he is probably a really nice guy who does not treat her like crap”… This comment from me prompted a very unimpressed look by the originator of the former comment. I went on to explain that I think there are too many times when we as people put so many conditions on what a partner should look like, should act, etc to the point that it becomes unrealistic. I think there is a difference between KNOWING what you want, KNOWING the things that work for your and do not work for you and writing out a Santa’s Wish that just like a letter to Santa wont get answered because there is no one there that fulfils it.

 

In some cultures your parents choose who you will marry. There is a circle of would-be candidates and you may get a choice of 2 from that circle and no where else. Your boundaries have been defined, your Santa’s letter has been pre-written and pre-fulfilled. That’s it you get to choose either from whats behind Door number 1 or the Mystery Box…and the thing with this is that no matter you end up choosing you know the choice will be same – your parents have approved it so you are getting to choose who you want to marry… but of your parents/ families choice. Then there are cultures which I guess are more the norm for me, the western cultures where you are free to choose from whatever pig-pen, horse-barn, fishing pond or any the price is right prize pools.. you get what I mean.. there is endless choice. There is a bounty of choice and is this where we might be going wrong? There is so much choice that we don’t know what to choose for fear of missing out on something better? There are people out there that I have met that have managed to find a really great partner – seemingly a perfect partner for them..until their little hampster starts turning that wheel and the thought of “well if I can get this person…maybe I can get something better” and off they go fishing again… then complain that they cant find what they want. Is this what our society has become? The generations of too much want and too many expectations?

 

I will put myself out there now, I will bare myself to you and you can judge for yourself if what I am seeking is too much am I really one of those people I have described? I was asked the question by my friend Carla and Marie “what are you looking for? What are the traits that you think would make a guy feel right for you?” to answer this question was hard straight away because I don’t like the idea of just rattling off a list of characteristics and ideals that would make someone perfect. I am not after perfection; I am after a right fit with faults and all. I look forward finding and accepting my partner and discovering that he has traits that I find slight (annoying) endearing.  But as I was forced to spell out things I like I will put it down to a top 10.

 

Top 10 traits that I would ideally like in a partner

 

1)    Trustworthy (no cheating, no deception that kind of stuff)

2)    Fun – someone who loves spending time together and the time be fun even if we are doing nothing except eating pizza and watching a Will Ferrell movie

3)    Believes in God – very important for me as I do and would ideally want a partner who shares that belief.

4)    Family orientated – someone that like me shares my passion for family and ensuring that the relationships with immediate and extended family are kept close.

5)    Ambitious – someone that shares my dream and will work with me toward my dream of ensuring a financially secure future for our family but not one that is obsessed with money

6)    Good conversationalist – someone that can have a conversation with me and won’t sit there just listening the entire time. Someone that isn’t afraid to discuss politics, religion, and is educated enough that they wont struggle with intellectual conversation but at the same time be humble enough to be able to have conversations of nothingness that can be quite entertaining.

7)    Sexually well matched – I was slightly hesistant about putting this one in but it is important, you gotta have a good sex life – how else will get through those winter nights.

    Tall – yeah I like them tall but not too tall 6’1 at the most would be nice

 

Can I just add right here that I am struggling to define any more here..only because as ive said before I have an problems with writing down these kinds of wish lists… I think I will leave it at a top 8 for now unless I come back later and think of more things. But the ones I have outlined as one of the most important to me that I know and feel at this point in my life are things I want in a partner…..

Am I really asking for too much???? I am afraid of the answer to that… hehe

 

Dating in your mid 20’s – Push Pull men 17, August, 2008

 

I hate the push and pull men. They push you away then out of the blue they want to pull you in. I really really dislike it how guys are so complicated. The only thing I can do is just roll my eyes.

Can someone please explain to me why men tend to gravitate to us when we ignore them? Why? Its almost like you cant show any kind of interest of affection because that’s when they run a mile away … the second you ignore them, the second you no longer give a crap about them and they know it .. that’s the moment that they decide they want you and that you mean everything to them. Is it just the thrill of the chase? Is it the idea of someone else now wants to play with the toy and they suddenly realize…hang on I wanna play with that toy now give it to me…

 

It really annoys me…

 

I went overseas for 3 months last year and met a guy there… yup you’ve prob read about him before… Mike. Mike and I had a bit of a connection and well we had kept in touch however my gut feeling told me a few months back that he was seeing someone but didn’t want to tell me. So I said to him that it was fine if he was seeing someone that it didn’t matter .. but he kept denying it. Anyway because of that I backed off, I got over him as communication became sparse and I stopped paying much attention. Suddenly out of now where Mike decides that ive been ignoring him and all of the sudden im “my precious princess”… wtf!? Where does this come from? Haven’t really spoken to you for like 2 months no replies to emails prior to that, never answered his phone and suddenly send me messages that say “hey beautiful going crazy without you, when you coming back” and “hey my precious princess you have no idea how much I miss you, have you forgotten about me already? I Miss us, miss you, miss your voice, specially love hearing you first thing in the morning you sound so good really really missing you please return my calls soon” … hello?  WTF!?? Where did this come from??? I guess the girl that he was seeing must have dumped him and is that slump phase where any attention is good attention and suddenly thinks im going to be the one to heal his heart. Well I don’t think so. So I took my time in replying to him and when I finally did, he is been completely amorous and cannot even tell you the lovingness coming from him… the more I stay away from him the more desirable I seem to become. But he is too late, he ignored me and didn’t communicate with me for a long time and so I lost interest…. In this particular case distance did not make the heart grow fonder but lack communication definitely lost me.

 

But I do wonder what is it that makes men tick?  Do men have a gene driven command unit that keeps them in a perpetual state of only child syndrome? Whereby you want what isn’t yours for the mere you want it and you don’t like that you don’t have it?

I put any money on it that if were to return the affection he seems to be attempting to shower me with he would suddenly have lost interest and I would no longer be so desirable to him. Ehhhh whatever.  

Dating in your mid 20’s – The Questions Answered II 29, July, 2008

Q: Should I try internet/online dating sites?

 

NRA: There are so many people that are members of such sites as RSVP and Lavalife, some have success and some don’t.

 

I think you guys may remember my story regarding my experience with the online dating thing. Well ill remind you again for those who don’t remember it. After my ex boyfriend and I broke up over a year ago my girl friends decided to help me out by secretly signing me up to BOTH online websites, RSVP and Lavalife… they had been corresponding with the guys on there as if it were me, they would send through photos to my email address asking my opinion of these guys – unbeknownst to me – they were pretending that it was for themselves. They would ask ‘so what do you think of this guy?’ and I would reply thinking that it was legitimately for them and say things like ‘he seems nice if you like him you should give it a go’ which in reality I was thinking ‘so totally not my type, but hey who am I to judge your taste’.. went out on a particular date that was horrific (ok I confess there was another one that I thought something good was coming of it..until we met… that story is for another time) – however, one part of the story you did not know was that I did meet one guy who was very nice, we went out for about 4 weeks.. He was a nice guy, he was quite good looking, however I did realise that there were a lot of things that didn’t quite concur with me. But that is normal it was a nice experience.

 

I have known a lot of people who have done the online dating thing, I knew one girl in her early 30’s could almost be described as a serial dater. She was on every dating website possible, would go speed dating and all other type of dating fads that came her way. She was never short of dates for the week or the weekend and so from her experience I can tell you that if you want to try it, you might as well have a go and see for yourself what all the fuss is about. Be prepared that you will come across some freaky weird people, you will come across liars, people who put up one photo saying its them then you meet them and it was a photo of them like 15 years ago when they had hair, and didn’t have a beer gut, didn’t have cankles, didn’t waddle as they walked, who looked like a real life Homer Simpson but NOT CUTE, NOT FUNNY and NOT ENTERTAINING!… ok ok … yes bad memories…

 

At the end of the day have a go, if nothing else, like me and many more people out there you will have interesting and funny stories to tell.

 

RA: See above, but maybe try some Christian dating websites? I personally don’t know of any good ones to send you to but I know they exist in the USA and Canada. Not sure if any good ones are in Australia.

 

Q: Should I sleep with a guy after 3 dates?

 

NRA: No hard and fast rule on this one. In my opinion no you shouldn’t because its like going out to dinner to a really nice restaurant and going straight for the dessert and missing out on the yummy entree and delectable main meal… Where is the fun and the excitement build up? Will you regret it the next day? What about STD’s? and STI’s? how do you know this person doesn’t haven’t any? How will you handle it if the guy never calls you again? If you can handle the one night thing or are happy to risk the guy losing interest quicker than he would if you had just kept him waiting a little longer then go for it. But if you really would like the guy to get to know the person you are, get to know what you like, what you think and you want to get to know them ..then wait. Wait longer than 3 dates.

 

RA: Well you’re not supposed to its fornication. So stay good and don’t do it! you may regret it later.

 

Q: What kinds of questions should I ask on a first date?

 

NRA: The question isn’t what questions should I ask? It’s what information do I need to find out and how to I extract it without it seeming like I am interrogating the person?

 

Firstly the things you would probably want to know about a person whom you have just met are:

 

a)      are you married?

b)      Do you have kids?

c)      Are u separated/divorced?

d)      Are you looking for just a good time or do you want more?

e)      Are you a cheapskate?

f)       Are you irresponsibly generous?

g)      Still living with a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband but are on the rocks and are you testing the waters to see what else is out there before you jump boat?

h)      Are you a serial killer?

i)        Are you a sexual predator?

j)        Addicted to sex? (may not necessarily be a bad thing.. he he)

k)     Are you a closet drug addict?

l)        Gambling addict?

m)    Do you have serious mother issues?

n)      Are you a stalker?

 

Well you get the picture and you would have your own questions that you want answers to.

 

The key to extracting information from a person is to make them feel very comfortable with you. You need to be genuine and ingenious as to how to ask a question… but remember you will NOT find all this information out on the first date, it will take time.

 

RA: Pray that you will not run into a Satanist stalker! But see above for more info